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In the oft forgotten Bible Book of Numbers, God says to His people, "Be sure your sins will find you out."

As a Pastor, I have seen this truth play out time and again.  In my own life.  And in the life of those claiming to belong to Jesus.  A large part of God's sanctification (making holy) of His redeemed people involves teaching us to just "come clean."  Own our sin.  Confess it and then begin the process of repentance (renouncing it and turning away from it as you pursue Jesus Christ).  God's initial questions to Adam after he fell into rebellion are aimed squarely at inviting Adam to "come clean."  Adam failed that test miserably, by the way (see Genesis 3:8-12).

God takes this so seriously that He actually expects members of the Church redeemed by the blood of His Son and our Savior, the Lord Jesus, to "confess your sins to one another" (James 5:16).  Our Lord has called us out of darkness into His marvelous light and now expects us to "walk [live] in the light as He [God] is in the light" (1 John 1:7).  We should not hide our sins, Christians!  Jesus has paid the price for our sins and set us free from their bondage and guilt.  Hallelujah!  We can be transparent.  Nothing to fear in confessing and repenting of sins.  It's the way of the Christian.  We have been given Divine grace, making us people of ongoing confession and repentance.  Keeping dirty little secrets is the way of the first Adam.  Walking in the light is the way of the Second Adam.  God gave justice to our sins in the body of His Son on the cross, so that we believers could walk in righteous freedom (1 Peter 2:24).  Knowing there is "no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1) rightly empowers us to "come clean" time and again with God and one another, with the humble acknowledgement that we are a community forged and refined by Sovereign Grace!  We are forgiven.  So forgiveness is in our DNA (Matthew 18:21-35; Ephesians 4:32).  No need to fear confession in the community of saints.  It is our joy and power and freedom bought by Christ.

The NCAA recently hammered the University of Louisville with penalties in response to their sex scandals revealed in a 2015 book by Katina Powell, Breaking Cardinal Rules: Basketball and the Escort Queen.  Initially, Ms. Powell was castigated and mocked.  But turns out her allegations were true.  Basketball recruits between the years of 2010 and 2014 were having the pot sweetened by UofL, with a high level coach hiring prostitutes for them!  Want to flood your athletic programs with the best of the best?  Just give them "free" sex.  All of it they want.

Now, the Head Coach, Rick Pitino has denied any knowledge.  Whether you believe that or not is not my bone to pick.  Coach Pitino and the UofL leadership self-imposed several penalties to show remorse.  They even removed themselves from post-season play in 2016-17 and reduced their number of scholarships for that same season.  But the NCAA did not think it was enough.  They wanted more blood and so socked them with numerous penalties, which may even mean Louisville has to essentially "erase" its National Championship season.  Coach Pitino and the Administration reacted with incredulity.  Shocked.  Outraged.  Crying "not fair."  And "over the top."  And "injustice."

While the UofL is in no way the Church or a church, and while I obviously do not expect a secular university to joyfully submit to the commands of King Jesus, I do think there are lessons here for us as Christians in the Church.

• Sometimes we as Christians demand "more blood" from one another too, even after a brother or sister has confessed and asked for forgiveness.  Per Matthew 18, this is a high crime against our forgiving God.
• Sometimes we say we have forgiven one another, but give the relational cold shoulder for months or years thereafter.  No doubt UofL and the NCAA will have no love for each other in years ahead.  But we, dear Church, are not the UofL nor the NCAA.  We are the forgiven in Christ filled with His love and Spirit.  When we confess and repent to Jesus, does He give us the cold shoulder for months or years afterwards?  (See 1 John 1:9)
• Sometimes we are shocked by justice.  If you think the NCAA is harsh, consider that God Almighty under the Old Covenant with Israel imposed the death penalty on the very behaviors of those sex-crazed athletes!  We so often try to make little of our sins against the Lord.  But God never sees sin as little. It's so big to Him that He crushed His own Son on the cross so that those who trust in Christ alone for forgiveness will never have to endure the everlasting death penalty of God's wrath against our sins (Isaiah 53).
• We should be shocked by grace and mercy.  Justice is simply what we have earned and deserve (Romans 6:23). But our culture has imbued us with a sense of entitlement.  And it's spiritually deadly to our souls.  May we resist in the power of God's Spirit and sing with tears of joy, "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound!"

Let's not allow the University of Louisville and the NCAA to be our paradigm, dear Church!  Let's walk in the Light. Let's confess.  Let's repent.  Let's forgive.  Let's live as a Community of "Come Cleaners" who stand in awe of our Savior's love and mercy.  For Jesus is worthy of us living in just such ways!

"For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him" (2 Corinthians 5:21).      

 

I've been listening every week for a few months now to podcasts from 9Marks and Capitol Hill Baptist Church.  They are a real blessing, especially in helping Pastors and Leaders think biblically about all things "church."  The most recent episode, for example, was titled "How to Leave Your Church Well."  Boy, is that ever needed in the church of America!  I'll probably have more to write on that topic in weeks ahead, but for now, I want to share some lessons from the podcast of several weeks ago.

Pastor Mark Dever, in a recent sermon, made application of a text by giving his listeners Twelve Questions to Ask Before Posting to Social Media.

1. Will it edify?
2. Will it be easily misunderstood?
3. Will it reach the right audience?
4. Will it help my evangelism?
5. Will it bring about unnecessary controversy?
6. Will it embarrass or offend?
7. Will it convey care?
8. Will it make people better appreciate someone else?
9. Is it boasting or boastful?
10. Is its tone appropriate?
11. Is it wrong on this particular topic to say nothing?
12. What do other spiritually mature people say or advise?

According to several news outlets, the world's first "healthy" baby has been born as a result of a new procedure that uses DNA from three people.  Read more here:

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/sep/27/worlds-first-baby-born-using-dna-from-three-parents?utm_source=email+marketing+Mailigen&utm_campaign=News+10.4.16&utm_medium=email

For many decades now, conservative Christians and pro-life organizations have been warning the medical community that they are simply going too far in these reproductive technologies.  Wading through the myriad ethical issues raised by this particular procedure is like trying to sprint in the shallow end of a swimming pool with weights tied to your ankles!

First, I find it very ironic that the Doctor who performed this procedure did so in Mexico where it's no holds barred, and gave his reasoning as "To save lives is the ethical thing to do."

Wait, what?  How did this procedure save a life?  A bit later in the news article referenced above, we discover that Dr. Zhang actually created five embryos with this procedure, only one of which "developed normally."  So what happened to the other four babies?  What was done to save their lives?  I'm confused.

I would never make light of the pain experienced by the couple receiving this procedure.  They have experienced miscarriages and even lost young children to a congenital disease passed down by the mother.  My heart goes out to them.  But who's to say that if the couple would have tried five more times to get pregnant the normal way that one of the babies would have "developed normally" without this crazy procedure?   And who's to say this newly born baby will not develop a disease or condition of his or her own, completely apart from the mother's DNA influence?

I'm all for couples being fruitful and multiplying!  But couples must count the cost.  It appears this couple was completely OK with destroying the life of four of their babies just to get that one "healthy" baby.  And couples all over the world (especially the western world) have decided that keeping some of their babies frozen indefinitely never to see the light of day is OK if it helps them get that one "healthy" baby.

And who decided that the be-all-end-all standard for having babies was "a healthy baby" anyway?  A good friend of mine in North Carolina who has a Down Syndrome child often corrects people when they tell expecting mothers, "Well, as long as your baby is healthy that's all that matters."  So a DS child doesn't matter?  Autistic children don't matter?  My friend would often quip, "Or even if the baby is not healthy, the child is still a precious gift from God."

Amen.  Preach on.

God help us.  We are digging ourselves a very, very deep hole.  I totally get the desire to have biological children.  It's a desire derived from our Divine design.  But to allow that desire to become Lord is dangerous idolatry.  I wonder if anyone directed this Jordanian couple to the thousands of orphans in their neighboring, war-torn countries waiting and longing for adoption?  If they could afford this procedure, they surely could have afforded to adopt.

If someone does not step in and stop this medical insanity, the devaluing of life will expand to the point that anyone deemed "unhealthy" will easily be dispatched.  And the irony of it is that this is all done under the guise of valuing life.  That's always how sin works, friends.  Trickery and rationalization are sin's favorite mediums.  And no medical procedure yet invented has been able to produce a sin-free baby.  That's one universal genetic defect that can never be cured except by the Blood of Jesus.

Be careful my brothers and sisters in Christ.  "Children are a heritage from the Lord" (Psalm 127:3).  But making them at all costs will turn out to be too costly in the end.  For it turns out, as exhilarating as procreation is, and as precious as babies are, they both make very poor saviors.

Phil. 4:12 I have learned the secret of being content in everything.
Come on Paul.  Tell me the secret.  Yell that secret to working mommas who yearn to be home.  Tell it to stay at home moms who yearn to get away from their kid.  What is the secret?  What did you learn?  How about wives who are married to Christian fellas and are loved but not loved quite like the lady married to so and so.  Their man does not do date night, he does not say sweet things.  Can you teach contentment, Paul, to the ones who are living life so fast that there is no time to breathe?  Bible time?  Ha!  Prayer time?  Ha!  Fellowship?  Ha!  Always gotta go and be doing. More sports, more shows, more stuff.  More this and that, but no contentment.  Paul, were you really content in money and stuff?  Did you really learn to be okay with little and with less?  Can you teach that to me?  Because I often think I have to have more.  I am like the more monster.  Some is never enough.  Cliff works overtime and we miss him BUT the overtime is good because regular pay is never enough.  Well, what is the secret?  I clearly need to know.  We clearly need to know, because we are drowning in discontentment.  So how do we "learn" contentment?  Well, I go to the same source I have gone to for years - my Bible.  The sweetest source of truth ever.  So, what does the Bible say?

Phil. 4:10-13..
10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength. 14 Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.

"I have learned to be content in all circumstances."  Thankful to get support and help but okay if God was all he had. How could that be?  Verse 13 says through Christ.  Contentment is only possible through Christ.  We are not able in our own broken, sinful states to be content.  We must seek our peace and contentment in Christ alone and through his strength.  Have you asked him for contentment?  Do you even know where you lack contentment?  Clearly Paul was content even in his need.  He had not had every need met, but, he did have contentment.  Paul was content even though he was not being served and loved well by his friends/family.  Paul was content because Jesus was enough.  Wow. Big deal.

1Tim. 6: 6-10

and imagining that godliness is a means of gain. 6But godliness with contentment is great gain, 7 for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. 8But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 9But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10For the love of money is a root of  all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

We brought nothing into this world and we can take nothing out.  What would happen if we really believed that? What if the attitude we had about our homes, our cars, our toys, our clothes and our food was that it did not belong to us?  What if we really believed that?  How would that change our contentment level?  Would we ever need more or better if we understood that all we have already is a gift from God?  What would happen to our ability to give if we knew it was not ours to begin with?  Would we pay our taxes with more joy?  Would we readily support homeless shelters and take care of widows and orphans?  Is part of our contentment problem a selfish problem?  We're desperately trying to hold onto what is not ours.  And what about verse 10?  The love of money causes us to wander from the faith and pierce ourselves with pangs.  That is exactly what discontentment feels like - pangs of pain, shards of glass constantly eating away at your insides robbing your joy.  Never, ever satisfied.  Always in need of more.  So maybe part of learning to be content is learning to hold the things of this world loosely.  Temporal things have no real value in light of eternity.

 And that I believe is the key to contentment.  Finding out what has real value and then vesting your time and energy into that.  What do you value?  Do you value things that will last into eternity or do you value things that will only matter for this short lifetime?

Contentment has to be learned.  Paul learned it through hardship and suffering.  He learned it through loss of material things and his own personal freedom.  He learned to be content with God.  God was enough in every single circumstance.  He valued God and the things that would bring glory to God. I pray that I will find my contentment in Christ alone.  I want to stop wasting my life on things without real value.

So, what does that look like?  Well, for sure it will look like investing in my family.  Discipling my kids and grand kids.  It will for sure look like being mentored and mentoring other women to love Jesus (Titus 2).  It will for sure look like loving my husband respectfully and honorably (Eph 5).  It will for sure look radical to a culture who values everything but Jesus.  Oh God, help me value You so much that contentment and joy is who I am in Christ.

Learn to be content women of God.  You will never regret it.

 

In the previous two posts, we've been trying to wrap our heads around the concept of genuinely constructive criticism.  We looked to Old Man Webster to provide some basic definitions.  But most importantly, we have looked to Jesus to teach us how to help our brothers and sisters struggle hard against sin for the glory of God.

Like everything in the Christian life, constructive criticism is only possible in submission to the presence and power of God's Holy Spirit applying the Word to our hearts, minds and lives.  But possible it is, praise the Lord!  And I strongly suspect the reason why I, and so many of you, have dorked this thing up for so many years is precisely because we go about our day-to-day lives walking not in the Spirit but in the flesh.  Living by our own power.  Using our own wit, will and wisdom.  And that produces fruit of the flesh.  In the case of offering constructive criticism, the particular fruits of the flesh that blossom are "Enmities, strife, jealousy, angry outbursts, disputes, dissensions and factions" (Galatians 5:20).  Haven't we all seen these things result from our efforts at criticism, or our own reception of criticism?

Well, I don't know about you, but I have noticed some trends in my 43 years on earth.  Trends that have dragged my initially well-meant criticism into the trash bin of "grumbling and disputing" (Phil 2:14).  Here's a bullet list of thoughts and questions that I pray may assist us in discerning how to both give and receive criticism biblically.

• Is the issue at stake a sin?  If not, I remind you once again to state up front to the person you are offering an opinion or a preference.  If a sin is the issue, follow Matthew 18:15-18 and Luke 17:1-4.
• If you are noticing something that you think needs some improvement in a brother or sister or church ministry, spend some time praying about it before talking to ANYONE else about it.  God has a way of giving good and right perspective.  I can't number how many times this one simple practice has kept me from saying a word to anyone as I come to realize the issue isn't really worth it.
• Are you talking about the issue to someone other than the person who should be receiving the critique?  The Bible calls this "gossip, backbiting" or "stirring discord."  Repent!  Confess your sin to God, and then go directly to the appropriate person and seek his or her forgiveness for talking about your judgment / critique behind his or her back.  You may not think you're stirring discord by discussing with other church friends the improvements you'd like to see in a church minister or ministry, and indeed, your motives may be pure.  But I know from personal experience, sadly, that where two or three are gathered to discuss their critiques of ministers and ministry, there a faction arises among them.
• God hates one who stirs discord (Prov. 6:19).  God says, "Reject a factious man after a first and second warning, knowing that such a man is perverted and is sinning, being self-condemned" (Titus 3:10-11).  Friends, this is more serious than we have let on in the church.  One of the sins I most regret is a time in my life when I was dissatisfied with the direction of a ministry and I sometimes offered a criticism to others who had some stake in the ministry, instead of going directly to the right person to hear my critique.  I was building a coalition, even if ignorantly.  And I now hate myself for it.  By God's grace I have repented and strongly desire to not slip into that trap again.  Oh, how I need Jesus!  Oh, how I need the Spirit's wisdom every day.
• DO NOT SHARE A CRITICISM with anyone other than the proper recipient.  This is the only way I know of practically to "Do all things without grumbling or disputing" (Phil 2:14).  Believe me, if you go offer an humble criticism to a brother, sister or ministry leader, he or she has probably been thinking of it or hearing a bit about it from others too.  Let God do the work in that person.  If God wants to get a message to His people, I have found He often hammers it home repeatedly via various people and means.  Trust Him.  No need for you to check and see how many in the church agree with you.  Just pray, keep the matter between you and God, and then if you sense Divine permission, go offer the criticism.  Then trust God.
• Criticize rarely.  Praise frequently.  Remember, criticism does not always need to be negative!  If you're going to be hyper-critical, then make it the encouraging kind of criticism!
• When you are criticized, analyze very carefully how you responded.  This often takes me weeks of prayerful reflection to assess how I reacted and responded to criticism.  It always reveals much about my heart.  Where was I too defensive?  And why?  Where did I disagree?  And why?  Did I listen more than I talked?  If not, why not?  Wow.  Honestly analyzing how I received a critique seriously exposes pride, jealousy, envy and idols in my life.  Oh for grace to receive criticism more humbly.
• If you think the critique is of such a serious nature that it may well explode, you might ask a neutral third party to sit in on it.  God typically uses that to calm and humble everyone in the room.
• Nail down what really matters in a church, and use your Bibles to do it!  This may well be the best advice I can give when it comes to criticizing something or someone in the church.  Knowing what hills are worth dying on, or even worth debating, is so important.  I have seen people that were precious to me leave the church over issues that I considered small preference-type things.  Or over misunderstandings.  Or over a few things in a ministry not being done precisely to suit them.  It saddens me.  Church is not a place for us to exalt our egos, our preferences, or our opinions.  Church exists to exalt its Living Head - the Lord Jesus Christ.  And how shall we do that if we are "grumbling and disputing?"  Especially over personal preferences.

No doubt you could add many more tips and godly techniques.  But I hope these at least get us headed down the right road as a church.  May God unite us around our commitment to seeing His Gospel penetrate our community and world.  For His glory in Christ alone.  And may He be exalted even in the way we give and receive criticism.

Do all things without grumbling and disputing (Phil 2:14).

In the last post, I made the case that genuine "constructive criticism" is possible for believers in Jesus who are filled and empowered by Holy Spirit God to love and obey the Word.  As many theologians from the past have said, "What God commands His people to do, God enables His people to do."  And to remind us of the immensely deep gospel context of Philippians 2:14, consider this quote from the Puritan Powerhouse Pastor John Owen:

"To presume that what God commands, we have power in and of ourselves to do, is to make the cross and grace of Christ of none effect."  

Amen Brother Owen.  Preach on!  The command to the Church to "do all things without grumbling and disputing" flows out of the humble condescension of our Lord Jesus who sacrificed Himself on the cross in our place, and is now raised and exalted to the highest position.  His perfect work for us and in us is the ground and hope and power of any good work we do or ever attempt.

So why then do so many of us believers flub this constructive criticism up?  Why can't we seem to walk the line between an edifying critique and grumbling / disputing?  Per Webster's definition, to criticize someone or something constructively is to make judgments about the merits of a performance and express them in such a way that the recipient can infer conclusions, feel encouraged and see the way towards improvement.  Easy for him to say!

Let's get practical.  To begin, we should notice that to criticize is to judge.  We cannot criticize or offer a critique apart from making judgments and using discernment.  What was good about the performance?  What could have been better?  What good do you see in a fellow believer?  What areas for improvement do you think exist?  What changes might be needed?  And how can I be a part of the solution towards improvement?  This is criticism 101.

Jesus told His followers how to judge one another.  Though pundits often quote Matthew 7:1 to try and rebuke all judgments by all people, in its context Jesus was actually instructing His people in how to offer constructive criticism!  There's much for us to learn from the Master here.

"Do not judge so that you will not be judged.  For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.  Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye?  You hypocrite!  First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye" (Matt 7:1-5).

Several principles emerge:

• Jesus is manifestly not forbidding His people to ever criticize or make any judgments about one another.  See also Luke 17:1-4 to reinforce this truth.
• Jesus insists His people use the right standard to assess one another.  We know that standard is the infallible Word of God given to us in the Bible.  If you are expressing an opinion but do not have any biblical texts to support it, then make it clear you are merely giving your opinion.  If you are expressing a personal preference not supported by explicit Scripture references, or not backed up by a Biblical principle, then say so.  This kind of honesty really helps ground a critique and guides the discussion in more productive and brotherly ways.  There's freedom for disagreement in matters of opinion and preferences!  And room to learn from each other!
•  Never criticize anyone or any ministry unless and until you are scrutinizing your own heart, mind, and life in the exact same way.  My Dad often told me when I first started in ministry, that in his experience people in the church often accuse others of doing what they themselves are doing.  The critique is a cloak.  A mask.  Jesus confronts this very tendency!  A hypocrite is an actor. Hiding behind a mask.  So before we level any criticism at all, we must be searching out our own hearts for similar sins or mistakes or needs for improvement.  Ask yourself, "Do I have anyone looking for this same sin or tendency or pattern in my life who is holding me accountable?  Am I confessing and repenting of any known sin?  Am I willing to admit those sins to the one I am criticizing?  Do I have any real authority, experience or expertise to offer this critique?"
• We all have specks and logs in our eyes.  Notice Jesus assumes every single one of His followers either have logs or specks!  Those symbolize specific sins or sinful habits / patterns.  But how do we know which one has a massive 2x4 protruding and which one has just a bit of sawdust?  Easy.  If it's in my life, it's a log.  If it's in my brother's life, it's a speck.  Do you see how gospel-centered this all is?  If I'm not viewing myself as the chief sinner in the relationships I have in the church, I really should be keeping my criticisms to myself.  Or, better yet, aiming my criticisms at myself!
• We as a church family should be seeking grace from God to deal with sin in our own lives and help our brothers and sisters deal with it in their lives too.  The goal, according to Jesus, is to "see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."  And so we must give criticism very carefully, and very rarely.  And we must receive it humbly.  That's surely what Jesus has in mind when He continues the instruction with these words:

"Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces."  

Wow.  I do not want to be the dog or pig in a church!  God help me receive criticism humbly.  Thankfully.  Knowing I, like all Christians, have blind spots.  God help me not turn and tear a precious brother or sister by my aggressive defensiveness.  God forgive when I have in the past.  God give grace to enable me to seek forgiveness from the torn family member.  God help me receive holy, constructive criticism well, so that I might also give it well.  God fill our church with this very spirit.

Is it any wonder Jesus then concludes this block of instruction on constructive criticism with an exhortation to persistent prayer?!  See verses 7-11.  We have no prayer of offering a godly critique apart from prayer.  And the concluding principle of Christ is . . .

"In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets" (v. 12).

Next post will help us with some practical ways to avoid grumbling in the Church.  A criticism meant for only a certain person or ministry far too often grows into grumbling, doesn't it?  Join me next week for more.

Constructive criticism.

Sounds like an oxi-moron, huh?  We think of construction as positive.  Criticism as negative.  We normally think of construction as building or putting together.  But Webster's 1828 Dictionary also includes this definition:

To interpret or understand.

And "constructive" is defined as "not directly expressed but inferred."

OK.  Still with me?  Good.  "Criticism" is defined as "the art of of judging with propriety of the beauties and faults of a performance" or "the act of judging on the merit of a performance."  A "critique" is the "science of criticism; standard or rules of judging of the merit of performances."  Pretty clear so far.

Putting the two together, then, we can surmise that constructive criticism is a judgment made about the merits, beauties or faults, of a performance that is expressed in such a way that the criticized can infer the conclusion.  In other words, the person being critiqued will not feel personally attacked or directly assaulted when encountering a skilled critic.  Rather, he or she would hear a series of feedback statements of the best things, and things for potential improvement, and be able to easily discern the best way to continue pursuing excellence in the craft.

But get real.  Is this even possible?  Is it possible in the Church?

Well, I need to be the first to confess my sinful blunders when it comes to offering genuine constructive criticism.  I have made people feel beat down and discouraged when I know in my heart I actually meant to do just the opposite!  And a few times, I have even sat around and just flat out belly-ached and threw little fits about something in the Church I didn't like, didn't prefer, didn't want, or wanted to see changed.  Sadly, I have even done this in the presence of other church members.  I'm a horrible sinner in this area, but God is showing Himself to be a perfectly patient Redeemer and Teacher.  I speak on this not from a position of "arrived" but rather "just pulling out of the station."  All aboard!

Do all things without grumbling or disputing (Phil 2:14).

Well, given that Christians are told to admonish and rebuke and encourage one another (Rom 15:14; 1 Thess 5:14; 2 Tim 4:2), and also commanded to "do all things without grumbling or disputing," we must conclude that constructive criticism is indeed possible.  Like everything in the Christian life, it's possible only by the power, presence and grace of the Spirit of the Living Christ in us.  But, nevertheless, possible.

It's very significant that the verse above in Philippians 2 flows directly out of one of the most beloved passages on the condescension of Jesus who laid aside His Divine prerogatives to become an obedient man, even to the point of death on the cross.  It is because of our Great Savior's atoning sacrifice for our sins that we are then told to "work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who is at work in you to work for His good pleasure."  There's both the motive (His loving humiliation and sacrifice) and the engine (God at work in us making us like Christ) of the command: "Do all things without grumbling."

I find it compelling and convicting that the very first way the Holy Spirit through Paul fleshes out what it means to "work out your own salvation with fear and trembling" is to exhort us never to grumble.  Never.

Do all things without grumbling or disputing.

All things?  Yes.  All.  Without grumbling?  Murmuring?  Complaining?  Arguing?  Disputing?  Belly-aching?  Yes.  Without all these attitudes and behaviors.

Theologically and/or doctrinally, I get how constructive criticism is possible.  Why then have I managed to do so poorly at it?  Surely I'm not the only one still wondering how this all works out in practice?!  If we are trying to judge how certain ministries in the Church might be improved, how can we possibly express it without falling into the trap of grumbling?  How do we practically avoid this sin against God?  

The next blog post will seek to answer that very critical question.

Pun intended.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So often the posts on this blog tackle very serious matters.  Even life or death matters.  Spiritual matters that may well impact our eternities.

It is my calling from God to preach His Word, undiluted and in all its fullness and glory.  It's serious business!

But for those who may only get their impressions of me from this blog, or even from my sermons, I want you to know I actually do enjoy life.  At least most days I do - ha ha!

God has blessed me beyond measure with the most amazing best friend and wife a man could ever want.  And to our union, God has gifted us with two simply wonderful daughters.  Most days, our home is filled with laughter and silliness.  Granted, like all sinners in need of Jesus, we have our "moments."  But all in all I am very happy when I'm hanging with my girls!  Blessed.

Recently, my youngest daughter and I enjoyed an amazing day out turkey hunting.  Now, to be sure, the first 5 hours of that hunt were spent in a pop-up blind.  By 11 am it was getting hot and uncomfortable.  We had only seen a few hens, and no gobblers.  But just as we were packing up to leave, things got crazy in a hurry!

Long story short we heard a distant gobble, which set into motion a mad scramble for us to get set up in a tree line to intercept him and/or call him toward us.  The picture accompanying this blog entry shows the end result!

Blessed.  In the right place at the right time.  My daughter made an incredible shot on a trotting gobbler, and then exclaimed "Thank you Jesus!"  It was a back-slapping moment, until I realized the other tom was still just standing in the field confused.  So I went ahead and filled my tag too!

Fun, fun, fun!  Blessed.  Not everything in life is deadly serious (well, I suppose our hunt was deadly on these two toms, but you get my drift).  God has given us so many little pleasures, hasn't He?  I have often said that so long as I have Jesus, every other good in this life is just icing on the cake.  But oh, how my Savior seems to just keep layering the icing on that cake!

So, dear Christian, take some time soon to enjoy some of that Divine icing.  Our God is so good, even on our worst day.  We, dear chosen ones of God, are blessed.  Let's not neglect to praise the Lord even for the "little" graces He lavishes on us in this life.

"I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one's lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor - is the the gift of God" (Eccl 3:12-13).

Prom Night.

Those two words strike terror into many a Christian parent's heart.  We all remember what prom nights meant for us (at least for those of us going to prom in the 80s and 90s).  Prom meant:

• Ridiculously expensive meals.
• Ridiculously expensive tuxedos and dresses.
• Gobs of make-up and revealing dresses on young women everywhere.
• Gawking young men.
• Dancing too close and too long, and to sexually explicit lyrics.
• Boys groping girls was common place during my school dances, and that didn't change at prom.
• All night parties, and even some overnight "dates" that were guaranteed to involve sex.

So, now you may better understand why I am anti-prom!  My wife and I determined by God's grace to raise our daughters in more godly ways.  It's why we chose homeschooling.  Academics had little to do with it.  Purity, God-centeredness and gospel-drivenness compelled our educational choice.  And Prom.  Well, it wasn't part of the plan.

But Saturday night, I watched my oldest daughter dance for hours with some of her friends at a Prom.  One of the young women in our church organized a Prom for homeschooling families.  I must say I was skeptical.  But in the end, I saw young women dressed beautifully and modestly.  Few of them had gaudy amounts of make-up.  The young men wore trousers and button-up shirts and ties.  Girls danced with their friends who were girls, and some of the boys joined in the fun.  There was no slow-dancing allowed.  Adult chaperons / parents were abundant.  Teens went home with their parents that night.

While I am not naive enough to believe that there was no lust going on in the hearts of those teens, I do know that the conditions to act on that lust or to feed that lust were simply not present.  Not permitted.

"Put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh to gratify its lusts" (Rom 13:14).

Now, some Christians would call me square.  Too conservative.  Too cautious.  Over-bearing.  Well, you don't know the half of it!  I'm so weird that I don't even believe in slow-dancing with my teen daughter.  I do not plan to have a "Dad-Daughter" dance at her wedding.  First because she now has been given to the headship of another man.  He gets the dance for the rest of his life now.  But second because I do not slow dance with any woman other than my wife!  I am not romantic with my teen daughter.  Daddy-daughter dances with elementary-aged kids are one thing, but expecting Dads to act romantic toward their daughters who are young women is, in my thinking, weird.

I'm not called to be romantic with anyone other than my wife.  And the very best way I can teach my daughters what real romance looks like is to give it to their mother lavishly!  They need to see romance only in the context of the covenant of marriage.  That's where God designed it to be.

"I want you to swear, O daughters of Jerusalem, do not arouse or awaken love until it pleases" (Song of Songs 8:4).  

You don't have to agree with my every whim or perspective here.  But it is worth considering how best we can model and instruct our children in true love and romance.  We must create circumstances, as much as it is in our power to do so, that allow our children to thrive in purity and to starve out that lust beast within.  And above all, we must point them to the Savior who took the punishment from God we earn with our every lustful thought.  It wasn't just for our physical acts of sex outside marriage that Jesus died.  He died for our sin-sick hearts and minds that far too often rage with lust (Matt 5:27-30).

In the end, it's not a dance with me or any other man that I want my daughters to most long for.  My prayer, my great desire, is that they would yearn for the eternal love of the Perfect Bridegroom.  His name is Jesus.  And He is more beautiful even than a home school Prom done well.

 

 

"Good friends are hard to come by."  

We've all heard it.  All said it.  And it's true.  I can personally count on one hand the men I would consider to be true friends, in every sense of the word, to me.

Good friends might be hard to come by, but they're worth the hard search and work to find and make.  Good friends are critical to a life well-lived.  God's Book of Wisdom does not overlook the importance of friendship.  God gives us instruction by example.  Like David and Jonathan.  Ruth and Naomi.  Paul and Barnabas.

But God also gives us some important instruction on friendship by way of Proverbs.  Chapter 27 shines here.

"Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed.  Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy" (vv. 5-6).

We often quote the phrase, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend" without considering its immediate context.  Too often in the church we use this phrase as warrant to go around rebuking everyone anytime we want.  But the key word is "friend."  That word assumes a closeness.  A bond.  A mutual commitment to one another.  And the preceding verse makes it plain that true love does not fake friendship by refusing to confront sin or correct error.  True friends are faithful to do hard things to ensure they are growing one another in godliness.  True friends must rebuke one another, but always and only to expose real sin that is preventing further growth in Christ-likeness.

In other words, true friendship is hard.  It hurts sometimes.  But it's worth it if we want to be wise like our Lord.

"Oil and perfume make the heart glad, so a man's counsel is sweet to his friend" (v. 9).

Oh, thank goodness!  Real friendship is not all rebuke and wounding.  Friends also share sweet counsel.  Advice and words that make the heart glad.  In other words, friends are committed to pursue wisdom together.  They look to one another to build up and "wise up."  It's hard to imagine having a good friend that you dread talking with on a regular basis because he or she never has a good word for you!

"Do not forsake your friend or your father's friend" (v. 10).

Friendship means loyalty.  This is why I personally believe one of the critical keys to a life-long marriage of joy is true friendship.  I know no better human friend than my wife.  What a blessing!  Real friends do not leave when things gets thorny or uncomfortable.  They stick with you even after you rebuke them faithfully.  They also remain committed to you even if you are struggling with a sin that needs rebuke.  They're in it for the long-haul and they're in it for your good growth in holiness until death ends the friendship.  God even expects friendship loyalty to cross generational lines!

"He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse on him" (v. 14).

Ah, true friends are thoughtful and considerate of one another.  Is your friend not a morning person?  Then don't start texting her at 6 am.  Friends put the good of the other before their own wishes.  Friends do practical things to bless one another.  I mean, after all, what "blessing" could possibly come from my yelling a prayer at my friend at the crack of dawn?  Friends serve one another in practical, down-to-earth ways that meet real needs.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" (v. 17).

Here is the essence of friendship.  When iron strikes iron, sparks fly!  But the end result is more usefulness.  A dull blade makes precious little impact.  Sharpening requires removing some material.  Sins must go.  Attitudes that do not reflect Christ and His Word must be ground away.  Life dulls us in so many ways.  We need true friends to pull out the spiritual whetstone and lay it to our hearts.  The very best way I know of to do this is to read, discuss, think on, and memorize the Word of God together.  

But if we continue to desire comfort and "concealed love" in the church, if we continue to run when relationships get hard, then we will never reap the harvest of friendship - true godliness.

"He who tends the fig tree will eat its fruit" (v. 18).

God help us seek good friends in the church.  God help us be a good friend to at least a few brothers and sisters in the church.  Lord Jesus, thank You for calling Your disciples Your friends (John 15:12-17).  It is only because of Your loving sacrifice for us that we can have any hope of ever being a true friend to someone.  Make us like You.  May our church's friendships bring You great glory as we reflect the love, loyalty, and sharpening that comes by Your sanctifying grace.  Amen.