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Recently, I was standing in the check out line at Walmart on a Sunday right after church (I know, I know….really). But here I was. And in front of me were two ladies practicing great patience and kindness with the cashier who was not really happy to be there. They had clearly just left church too. They were dressed in flowered skirts to their knees and their hair was neat as a pin. I immediately thought of a much younger; much more arrogant me.

I remembered seeing sweet ladies like this when I was in my twenties and feeling like I was so much more able to love and connect with broken people around me than these pious stick-in-the-mud ladies (as I walk into church in my shorts and tank top). I remember believing that, because I dressed less stylish and less “obviously Christian,” lost people could surely connect to me better. I was so sure of that. So arrogant. On this day, standing in Walmart I remembered how broken my own soul was that I would even have those thoughts. Years later, my life was significantly changed for the better by two ladies who wore dresses to their knees and never considered less than that when attending church. What a lesson for me.

This walk down memory lane led me to think on what divides Christian women the worst. What causes us to rise up against each other. What causes us to tear each other down.

It is comparison. 

We compare ourselves to other women in connection to, well, everything. And the result of comparing is always a couple of things; jealousy and envy or arrogance and pride. If we compare and find ourselves wanting then we experience horrible jealousy. If we compare and find ourselves better, we are eaten up in arrogance and pride. And the result of both of those is division.

It makes me sad. 

Christian women need one another desperately. We are aliens in a foreign land. We are not designed for the place we are living in. We are set apart. Weird. Out of place. If ever anybody needed anybody, it is other aliens. We need each other to get through this alien world until we reach home. But we are so busy comparing, cutting, finding fault.  We walk alone often because either the other women are not in our caliber OR the other women are so much better than us (in our mind) that our envy keeps us from loving or being loved by them.

Stop it.
Just stop it. 

I don’t know how biblical sounding that counsel is but God gave the same counsel when He wrote proverbs. If you are doing something foolish – stop it! He told the woman being stoned: who condemns you? Neither do I: now go and sin no more.

So just stop it. 

Listen, this thing we do; this comparing…
It is not humble.
It is not right.
It is not good.
It is evil.
Evil.

It is a tool of Satan to kill, steal, and destroy. I have seen it destroy friendships between sisters who are grown up in Jesus. I have seen it destroy the friendship between sisters who truly love others. It is wicked. If you are practicing it: just stop it.

Beg God to help you. Talk to other women who are not struggling in this. Talk to your pastor.

This sin is insidious. It will keep you isolated and alone and afraid for your whole life. 

Hiding behind fake smiles. And fake great marriage stories. And fake great kid stories. And fakehomemaking stories. Get it? Comparing ourselves leads to fake because we can never tell the lady who seems to be perfect what is hurting us. That we are not all together. That we are wearing capris to church but all broken at home. Our sorrows never get shared enough to find out the lady in the dress hurts too. She hurts just like you. Oh, this breaks my heart. I beg God to break this ugly sin from the church who loves Jesus. Break it! 

Some common areas of comparison that should bind us together but tears us apart:

• Schooling. Oh, a big one. Homeschool. Public school. Private school. Charter schools. Online school. The absolute craziness over these camps makes my heart sick.
• Breastfeed or bottle-feed. New mommas are struggling to sleep; struggling to get through colic; struggling to learn how to cope. And we draw up sides on how we feed our kids instead of crying together over exhaustion, fear and being crazy busy.
• C section or natural birth. One of the most beautiful experiences of womanhood to be shared and we draw camps over it. We insist it matters. It does not. Stop it.
• Skirts or pants. Truly. Who cares. Who cares!
• Gifts & Talents. Instead of celebrating our different gifts and thanking God he blessed us by gifting a sister who can help us in our weakness, we secretly find ways to tear down those gifted differently than us so we feel better about our own. So then we never get to be helped by those with different gifts. We are too busy being jealous while hiding behind our smiles.
• Married or unmarried. Well, of course married women are better. God loves them more. (Camp #1). Well, unmarried are more holy because Paul said, “Hey, wish you could be me!” (Camp #2) So never the two shall meet. So incredibly sad.
• Mommas or not.  Women who want babies are so sad and broken that often they compare the way they would mother with the way Christian sisters do mother. They lose out on the chance to support sisters who need them. Who desperately need them. Women who are mommas only do playdates with other mommas. It never crosses their minds to share their beautiful family with the lady with no kids.

Unbelievable division that God never intended. 

Stories of women who hated other women abound in the Bible but the one that breaks my heart the most is Rebecca and Leah. Years of comparison. Years of envy. Years of jealously. What did it lead to? Generations of jealously. Envy. Hatred. Thousands of years. Read the story. God did not intend this sweet sisters.

Stop it.
Just stop it. 

Beg God to help you see women as the gifted amazing people he made them. Stop being afraid you cannot measure up. Stop posturing because you are infinitely better. Just love one another. We have so much to offer one another.

Stop comparing.
Start loving.
The two are not coexistent. 

Here is the verse that blows comparison up and stops it on its tracks: "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Cor 10:31).

My motive should never be sizing up the competition to be better or to be good as. My motive should always be the glory of God alone. Now apply that to the list above. What does that look like in your life?  Your circumstances??

Do what brings glory to God. Only that. 

God bless our sweet sisters to seek Gods glory and be FREE to love one another without this yoke of comparison.

PASTOR'S NOTE: We are blessed to learn from Lori's godly wisdom.  As Christians we all need to learn to discuss the various issues she mentions above without allowing our hearts to become judgmental or to fall into the comparison trap.  May the Lord give us grace to know how to agreeably disagree when the gospel and the primary truths of God's character are not at stake.  Far too often in our culture, Christians either choose churches or leave churches over tertiary matters that fall more under Christian freedom or mere preferences.  We need to seek God's grace to unite around those first-tier doctrines that matter most!

 

Preaching through James is proving to be a deeply convicting labor.  Over the last two Sundays, we have delved into the sin of partiality, as James tackles it in Chapter Two, verses One Through Thirteen.  Though he applies it directly to economic status (rich or poor), we had to explore ways in which we may knowingly or unknowingly commit this same sin in our church today.  While I hope I supplied enough examples and illustrations to help my listeners examine their hearts, I want to now add another category of people that I think we often treat with partiality in churches today:

Divorcees.

Believers who have been divorced cannot win for losing in evangelical churches today.  I realize many hold firm convictions in the matter of divorce and remarriage.  I personally have strong convictions informed by texts like Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians 7.  But I also must be humble enough to recognize other Bible-believing believers and scholars do not see it exactly the way I do.  So, this issue is kind of like eschatology - it demands an ongoing humility, not a dogmatic judgmentalism.

So, though I might not think a certain divorcee should get remarried, I cannot castigate that person or mistreat them as somehow "sub-Christian" if they do in fact remarry.  Neither can I be disappointed if a divorcee chooses to remain single, despite all the best attempts to match-make inside the church.  These decisions are deeply personal, and every divorcee carries bloody scars that will never fully heal until Resurrection Day.  So, may "mercy triumph over judgment" in these matters for us, dear friends.  To help us think more deeply on this subject, I am pasting below some thoughts from our sister and Biblical Counselor, Lori Beard:

I hate the vocabulary of divorced people. I hear them talk and it breaks my heart. Things like, "Well I don't have to have her back until 10. Surely he won't get mad if I keep her a little longer."  Or,  "Well I can't pick my kids up till 9 and they leave at 12 so we won't be able to do dinner."  Or, "This is not my weekend. My kids cannot go."

It appears to me the ones most affected are the kids.

The other language that drives me crazy is that of those who are married and have never been divorced, but have a struggling marriage. Things like this, "Nothing could be harder than staying in this marriage."  Or, "I cannot wait until I am free of this hurt." Or, "When he leaves I am done with him finally."  It never ends.  It's as if divorce is being anticipated!  Maybe even looked forward to?  

I also have figured out I hate the language of those married, who believe they have it all mastered, towards divorcees.  Things like, "Well, they should have married better."  Really?  So you knew something divorced people did not?  Or was it by grace alone that you married who you did?  Or this, "They neither one had the guts or commitment to stay."  Really?!  Did you ask them that or just assume as you made that horrifyingly hurtful blanket statement?  Or this, "Well, if she would have just thought before she married him."  What if she did not just think but she prayed for hours?  She sought counsel from several pastors?  She went through intense premarital counseling? And what if your assumptions have crushed an already crushed person.

Words have so much power.  Often good power.  Like, "We the people" or "I have a dream " or "Nothing to fear but fear itself."  But they can also destroy and cause damage that is unseen, but is suffered for years. Be careful. Be careful. People are listening. So is God.  

A healing tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit (Prov 15:4).  

Pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  Do not quench the Spirit (1 Thess 5:17-19).

Brothers and Sisters in Christ, do not let Black Friday darken your Thanksgiving!

During the sermon last Sunday, I mentioned the prayers of my Granddaddy McWhorter.  My Dad used to recall from his childhood how his Dad's prayers were chocked full of gratitude.  It made a mark on Dad.  In my Dad's last decade of life, I noticed how his prayers also just grew more robustly grateful.  It was if his heart were about to explode with thankfulness for all the Lord Christ had done for him.

I was 10 when Granddad passed onto glory, but I do also have a few memories of his prayers.  When I was a kid, we typically gathered at my cousin's house in Danville, KY for a Thanksgiving feast.  Often, Granddad was called upon to "say the blessing."  His prayers were a blessing!  Though as a child, I thought the prayers were a bit long, looking back now as a man, I am so appreciative.  He always seemed to have a long list of blessings for which he thanked God.  He was filled with gratitude.  And it bled over into his life attitude.  He was a joyful, happy man who loved Jesus and knew that "every good and perfect gift comes down from above" (James 1:17).

Brothers & Sisters, we do have so many reasons to be grateful to God.  I do not think I need to make a list for you.  I need not insult your intelligence.  You are very capable of making your own list.  And you should.  And you should fill your prayers, not just this week, but every week, with thanksgiving.

Do not lose the flow, the connection between "pray without ceasing" and "give thanks in all circumstances."  Dare I suggest that if you do the latter (give thanks in all things) you will find yourself more often doing the former (praying without ceasing).  And "this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

God always knows what's best for us.  Thankfulness impacts every facet of our lives.  Find a truly grateful woman and you will also find a humble woman.  Find a thankful man and you find a prayerful man.  Locate a teen with an attitude of gratitude and you will locate a teen with true joy in Christ Jesus.  It's impossible to be thankful while simultaneously murmuring and whining.  Thanksgiving to God in Christ for His innumerable and unmerited favors literally grounds our identity.  No self-esteem issues are likely to creep into a Christian's life who spends significant time on her knees praising God for all His benefits!

Find a thankful believer in Jesus, and you will find a Spirit-powered believer in Jesus.  Again, do not disconnect "pray without ceasing" and "give thanks in all things" from "Do not quench the Spirit."  Perhaps nothing douses the Spirit's flames in our hearts as quickly as a complaining, ungrateful attitude.  How can we possibly be unthankful, dear Christian, when

"He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things" (Rom 8:32).

O Christian Brothers and Sisters, give thanks!

My wife's mother, Linda, passed into the presence of Jesus on this day, Feb 6th, when my wife was only ten years old.  But this is no sob story!

My wife's maternal grandmother, Lucille, used to call her "Little Linda."  Probably because Michele (my wife) looked like her mom.  And probably, I assume, because Michele had echoes of Linda in her personality and mannerisms.  And assuming this is so, Linda must have been a truly amazing woman of God's grace.

While I did spend some time with Linda before her death, it was not significant.  After all, I was only 8 years old!  I didn't really know her, though I have a fond memory of her smiling when she was first introduced to me.  She smiled at me even though her body was wracked in pain as she was in her last days of struggling with cancer.  She seemed happy, though bed-ridden.  But again, I cannot say I knew her well.

But I know her "little Linda" very well.  And she is the sweetest, most tenderhearted, thoughtful woman I have ever known.  The fruits of the Spirit spring from my wife's heart and life!  She is a woman of love, joy, peace and patience par excellence.  And that's really saying something when she has lived with me for over twenty years.  It's a credit to God's saving and sanctifying grace and presence.

My daughters could not have possibly asked for or even dreamed of having a better mother.  Michele has poured into them day after day, night after night, fighting for them in prayer and forging them into women who know what it means to live in humility and gratitude regardless of life's circumstances.  They, too, must know something of the kind of woman their grandma Linda was; for they see her legacy in their own mom as she loves them fiercely, teaches them gracefully, and models Christ-likeness in her daily routine.

Meaghan and Keileigh - you are living quite a legacy of love for God and others!  Passed down from Linda, and seen so clearly in your Mom.  May God grant you His grace and Spirit to honor this amazing legacy.

Michele - you are so indescribably wonderful to me.  Your beauty and love is surpassed only by that of our Savior and Lord.  I love you and pray your heart is comforted in this time of joyful remembrance and grief.  May you anticipate with all the saints of God the day you will sing to the Lord with your parents again, face-to-face with them before the very face of your Redeemer-King Jesus.

I love you, my Little Linda!

 

 

Self-esteem=big fat lie.  Do you want to know the truth?  You have not been getting it from the psychology world or the secular counseling world for a very long time.  In fact, I think we have never heard the truth from those worlds at all in the matter of self-esteem.  We have, instead, as Christians, been buying into a lie that is eating into the fabric of who we really are and what our worth really is.

To be quite honest, I am sick of that lie.  I am sick of women being deceived by it.  I am sick of women teaching it to others.  I am sick of the church buying the lie of self-esteem.  I am just fed up.  So, if this sounds a little angry, well know this: I am pretty mad on behalf of Christ and His church.  So, here is the truth.

Self-esteem means to think highly of oneself.  Yeah, just let that set in for a minute or two.  Is it sitting?  Well, it should have sunk into the minds and hearts of Christians by now I think.  To think highly of oneself is ridiculous because there is nothing about ourselves to think highly of.  Now, if you have bought the lie the culture preaches daily on TV, in magazines, and over the internet, well, you are probably starting to either get indignant with me or to drop your head in despair.  Both reactions are totally normal because it is hard to let go of something we have based our lives and values around and taught our children from day one.  So, I am okay if you are angry or despaired.  Just keep reading a bit to gain some real truth and hope.

A normal response in our culture is to think highly of oneself and to teach one's children to do the same.  It is everywhere we look.  TV promises beauty every day as soon as you get up.  When is the last time you saw an ugly actress or one who did not fit the Hollywood mold?  Magazines have pics of women doing it all and doing it in the biggest style.  And we are saturated in stories of how important and powerful women are.

This teaching is frayed for many reasons, but the main one is that the Bible does not teach this at all.  In fact, in Philippians 2, it teaches the exact opposite.  It says we are lowly and should recognize that about ourselves and take on the form of a servant to look and act like Jesus.  Try that curriculum out in any school or child environment anywhere.  It is a sure way to get yourself fired, or worse, shot and killed.  Teach our kids to be servants?  I think not. They are way too good for that. They are gonna be great and ahead of the game and achieve greatness on all kinds of levels.  This is what we are told to tell them when we raise them.  This is what we are told will cause them to feel good about themselves.

Oh poppycock!  What happens to their esteem when they do not do great things?  When they just achieve mediocre things?  What happens when they screw up and get divorced or have a car accident that kills somebody?  How does that teaching stand them in good stead?  They certainly have not lived up to the things they have been taught should give them reason to feel good about themselves.  In fact, they now know they are losers doing loser things.  What about the woman who marries a man she loves in good faith only to be beaten and abused by him?  What about the little girl who has been told those things and then gets hurt by the guy next door?  What about those women?  What about the lady who gets burned really badly and lives with a scarred face for the rest of her life?  What about the little girl who is overweight all through school and bullied because of it?  How does any of the teaching about self esteem help these people?

It sounds pretty. It sounds so good. It sounds so righteous but it is bogus.  It leads us into hurt and wound and confusion.  It leaves us feeling inadequate and always like we have to play catch up.  Esteem based on performance is bound to disappoint.

Why can’t we, as Christian parents, just teach the truth of the Gospel?  We have worth because we were created by God. We were created in his image.  We are priceless to Him.  Our worth has nothing whatsoever to do with us.  It does not depend on our looks or our achievements.  It does not depend on our abilities, talents, or gifts.  They can all be lost.  Our worth is grounded in God as our Creator and Redeemer.  It is solely based in Christ.  He was wounded for our transgressions, bruised for our iniquities.  How much more worth does one need than that?

We need to quit scrambling.  We need to quit begging for approval.  We need to quit depending on the opinions of others for worth.  The sweet truth of God's Word is enough.  His truth is that we are so worthy because of Jesus.  He is our center.  He is our truth.  He gives all of his creation worth.  We can rest now.  We can live at peace with all of our messiness, all of our hurts, all our failures and all our wrongs.  Jesus is our worth and He is perfect.

"For in Christ Jesus, you are all sons of God through faith" (Galatians 3:26).

Let me confess right off the bat that womanhood is a mystery to me.  I can honestly say that after 53 years of being a woman, I am still figuring it out. That being said, I do know a couple of things for sure and thought I would pass them on. We deal in a world that thinks what we FEEL is truth. Well, that is simply not so. Truth is absolute; like 2+2=4.  Even if I wished it equaled 100,  well, it does not. So, it is with womanhood. There are some absolute truths to be known about being a woman.

1.  I am a woman. I have woman parts. I use them accordingly. I am a woman. I can wish to be a man. I can act like a man. I can talk like a man. But, I cannot be a man. This seems crazy to me. But it appears this absolute truth must be affirmed. I was created a woman. I will be a woman until I die. Absolute truth. Genesis 1:27; 5:2.

2. I am created with the same equality as a man. I think and act and feel. I have ability to reason and think logically. I can figure things out and solve problems.  I also am equal in position and importance to God as a man is. He loves me just as equally as he does my husband. Cliff is no more precious to God than me. I am not clawing for a place in God’s thought or care. He is faithful to his people equally.

3. I am different from my husband. I am different in that we have different bodies. Mine was created to give life and nurture it. His was created to provide for life and protect it. He is physically stronger than me but he is called to use his strength to protect me. And why would I be angry about that?  Why would I resent that?  When did it become politically correct for women to resent a man’s care and provision. It certainly does not mean I am incapable of caring for myself. It does mean that God loved me enough to provide protection for me. That is sweetness, but according to the world it defines me as unequal to a man. Since when?  I am not woman hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore. I am just a woman. My husband is just a man. Created by God and loved by God. Equal.

4. I am created in equality with my husband but I am different than him in roles.  And that is ok.  It is good. It does not define me as weaker or lesser. But it does help to define me. In my marriage, I am a helpmate. I am my husband’s helper. He leads and I follow. He plans and I help execute. Now I have a wise husband so, often he asks me what I think and we plan together. Often, he uses my strengths and tells me to do what I do best and gives me freedom to do it well. He is smart like that. But his role is one of leadership. Mine is one of submission. And this is an absolute truth. The Bible says so (Ephesians 5) and I believe the Bible.  There is no other truth. So, we have different roles and we also have different gifts. He is excellent at fixing stuff and at thinking things through in steps. I am excellent at getting things done quickly and seeing the big picture. We put those things together and we work pretty well together. Same but different. Good design.  God’s design.

What happened then?  What is the war between the sexes about?  Well, it is a created war. It was created by women who felt a need to be the same as a man. They were not content to be the same before God.  They were not content to be created in perfect equality as far as being  loved by God and having the same access to God as man. They wanted to be men. They wanted to do what men do. They wanted to be followed and submitted to.  This did not just start with women’s lib. It actually started way before that. Genesis 3. It started there. Eve took the fruit. She ate it. She gave it to her husband. She was not content with perfection. She was not content to know the creator of perfection. She wanted to be Him. So, she listened to the lies of the serpent and ate.

Women, I would venture to say we are still listening to the lies of the serpent. We are not content to be women. We are not content for men to be men. We want more. We want to design our own pictures. And, just to be quite `rank`, we have screwed it up.  In fact, it is so messed up that it seems un-fixable. It seems hopeless. Women in homes fight against their husbands with no regrets or sorrows. Men refuse to lead and love their wives sacrificially. Women demand to do whatever they want even if their bodies are not designed for it. Women dress like men and walk like men and call themselves men even though science agrees that it is biologically impossible to change your gender. We are screwed up. What do we do now??

I submit that we pray. We pray earnestly for God to change the hearts of the church. The world will never see truth until we are living truth and not just talking about it. So, what does that mean? Well, I definitely need to think about my attitude towards my husband. I need to think on how I speak to him. I need to pray about loving him with honor and respect. And I need to live that to the glory of God. And I need to teach my daughters and granddaughters what a privilege it is to be a woman.  I need to remind them that womanhood is not in opposition to manhood. It complements it. It works together with it to achieve all the glory of God in a magnificent design that we could never have imagined.

I pray I do that well. I fall short so often. But I know another absolute truth. God is strong in my weakness (2 Cor.  12:9-11).  His grace is sufficient for me on the days I forget the sweetness of my creation. I am a woman. Glory to God. What a gift from God.

Sexual harassment.

What is it?  I imagine the answers to that question are too many to count.  It depends on whom you ask, right?

When I served as an Officer in the Marine Corps, we knew in no uncertain terms that any unwanted remark or contact with a female Marine was considered harassment.  The woman got to define it, so we had better keep things clean.  A very similar definition prevailed at GE when I worked there as a Materials Manager.

And yet I heard comments made by men about women, or specific female co-workers, that were not clean.  Not in the least.  But those comments were always made only in the company of other men.  Behind the backs of those women.  It was gossip, sometimes of a sexual nature.  Sometimes I confronted it.  Sometimes I ignored it.  Sometimes I just found a way to walk away and find something else to do.  But it was fairly normal and commonplace.

And no evangelical, Bible-affirming Christian is at all shocked by this behavior!  Honest women I know tell me that women often do the same thing!  They, too, talk inappropriately about men behind their backs.  And in high school locker rooms all across this land, crude talk and jesting is rampant.  This is how sinners live and move and have their being.  Sinners sin.  Our thoughts are not pure.  Our lips are unclean.  And sometimes we use our bodies to sinfully violate the body of another person, whether that's a punch in the nose or touching when that touch is not wanted.

So I have been, like all of you, watching, with massively mixed up emotions, the latest rampage of firings amid allegations of sexual harassment.  At this rate, there literally will be no male news anchors left on TV in a year!  And we might not have any men left standing in public office either.

Please do not misunderstand me.  I do not endorse any inappropriate talk about anyone.  I denounce any sexual activity outside of marriage.  Period.  I decry any unwanted sexual advances or contact.  Sin is sin.  It is ugly.  Never justifiable.  And followers of Jesus, of all people, must affirm and embrace these truths!

"From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.  My brothers, these things ought not to be so" (James 3:10).

"But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.  Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which is out of place; but instead let there be thanksgiving" (Ephesians 5:3-4).

My concern here is not to defend any sinful or inappropriate talk or behavior.  Rather, my purpose in writing is to say, "Every man in any position of influence or authority in this Nation right now is walking on pins and needles."

Why?

Because we ALL have sinned in these ways.  At some point in our lives, every single one of us has sinned in ways that our society now defines as "harassment."  Some of these allegations reach back 25-40 years.  Does any one of us really want all our stupid, hormone-afflicted behavior as teens or college students thrown back up in our faces?

If the allegations are true, whether they are 30 years in our past or just a few months ago, we should confess them as sin before God and seek His forgiveness as well as the forgiveness of those we hurt or offended.  I have personally promised God that each time I encounter someone from my past that I know I sinned against I will do this very thing.  I want people to know I am genuinely sorry and thanks to Jesus I am not the man I once was.  And, praise God, He has blessed me to maintain pure relationships for decades now.  I give Him all the glory, for apart from Christ I am nothing and can do nothing of spiritual beauty (John 15).

And if a crime has been alleged, such as sexual assault, we need to withhold judgment until a fair trial is conducted.  I am deeply disturbed by the direction of our culture and media.  We are as Americans no longer innocent until proven guilty.  No!  Especially not if the allegations come from a woman against a man.  We expect that man to quit his job immediately, even if he is denying all the allegations.  Long before a trial.  We have already crucified him.  And even if the man admits to inappropriate talk or advances (but no legal crimes were committed), we still know he will get fired from his job and disgraced.  And so I say again, no man then is safe!  Because we have all sinned in these ways and if we're not allowed to genuinely repent and apologize and seek forgiveness without losing our livelihood, well, I have no idea how our society and economy will sustain this insanity.

And `rank`ly, I wonder why we assume only men harass women.  If you think the stigma on a woman making public allegations against a powerful or influential man is strong, consider the stigma when the gender roles are reversed!  When is the last time you heard a man make public allegations of harassment against his female boss?  And it happens.  Our military now has to deal with male-on-male and female-on-female harassment and it is devastating.    Surely we are not naive enough to think only men are guilty of these sins?  Surely we do not think it impossible for a woman to advance in a career through sinful means?  Surely we do not think only women tell the truth and all men are liars?

Or do we?  And if all women tell the truth, what about those labeled trans-gendered?

The spiritual ramifications of this ongoing saga are crucial.  Even in the church.  Will we hold our pasts against each other?  Or, as those who humbly confess our sins and plead the blood of Christ as our only hope of forgiveness and reconciliation with God and one another, will we embrace one another as the Redeemed Family of God?  Is the Cross of Jesus Christ the great leveler of all playing fields, or not?

"For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28).  

What is most disturbing in all of this is the complete lack of any gospel consciousness or biblical language to help us process and deal with it.  Not one dismissed news anchor has called his behavior "sin" to my knowledge.  God has not been mentioned.  The forgiveness of sins available only in the righteous life, substitutionary death and powerful resurrection of Jesus Christ is never invoked.

Instead, we just send offenders away in shame.  Much as we have shut away and silenced victims in our society for far too long.  We are losing our sense of hope!  Of forgiveness!  Of reconciliation! Of restoration!    

O dear friends, our nation needs the Gospel.     

 

 

Recently I have been studying Isaiah.  It has been revealing to say the least.  It has also been very convicting.  It appears to me that the overarching theme of Isaiah is our dependence on ourselves as opposed to God.

God tells us in so many places in the Bible to depend upon Him and not ourselves.  Proverbs 3:5-6 says to lean not on your own understanding but to trust in the Lord.  2 Cor 1:9 says to trust in the Lord God and not ourselves.  But as I read through Isaiah, I see that Israel did not trust God well.  And often I do not trust God.

Isaiah 29 speaks of the Potter and the clay.  Clearly God is the Potter.  I am the clay.  But I don't always act like He's the Potter.  And I certainly don't live like I am the clay.  Often I live just the opposite.

In Isaiah, God uses practical examples to show how Israel is not trusting in Him.  When they were being attacked, they trusted in swift horses and fleeing.  In other words, they trusted strong horses and running instead of God.  Good grief!  This is so like me.  I often look for my strength in things besides God.  When a struggle comes, what I might do first is get a plan in my mind of how to fix it.  The problem with that plan is that often I have not consulted God first, by prayer or time in the Word.

Isaiah 29-30 talks about this very thing.  It says Israel's hearts have been hardened and they don't listen to God's Word coming through His prophet anymore.  They don't read or heed His Word.  This is what depending on your own strength and plans looks like.  It is the result of a hardened heart.

God forgive me.  I do not want to be a hard-hearted Christian.  I often am so proud of my own strength and my own ideas and my own ways that I refuse to look to Jesus first.  Somehow I think it makes me look weak.  But the Bible says God is made strong in my weakness!  So why do I fight dependence upon God so much?  Why?  I don't really know why I fight it.  But I guess the answer is sin.  Specifically, the sin of pride.

I am so proud of myself and my strength.  I am arrogant.  Ugly sin.  But I do know how to battle sin, thank God.  1 Cor 10:13 says no temptation will come to us that God has not provided a way of escape.  So, I know that the answer to the sin of trusting in myself is just to trust in God.  It is to cry out to Him to help me and humble me.  So that's what I intend to do.  I imagine I'm not the only Christian struggling with this matter.  I imagine there are people in our church family and in our circles of brothers and sisters who struggle with self-strength.  I hope that we love each another enough to pray for each other and to call out pride when we see it.  To speak to each other with love and gentleness - words of life and truth.

And those words would probably sounds something like:

You cannot do this by yourself.  Have you prayed about this sister or brother?  What does the Bible say?  Have you studied the Word in this matter?

Self-strength is ugly.  But it can be attractive even to the Christian.  It causes us to believe that we are sufficient in a way the Bible says we are not.  I love Isaiah.  Because Isaiah does not let you believe that lie.  It knocks down all those deceptions and defenses and speaks truth instead.  And the truth is that God is the only sufficient One.  He is the only One with all the answers.  He is the Truth.  He is the only Hope.  I am absolutely nothing and incapable of living rightly or wisely without His help.

This is God's truth.  I am not strong.  You are not strong.  We are not strong unless and until we put our whole hope in God.

At 11:27 p.m. on September 13th, I laid my forehead against my Dad's, said a prayer, then kissed his forehead and told him I loved him.

At 11:30 p.m. I laid my head on the pillow in the bedroom just adjacent to where my Dad was lying.  I said, "Jesus, please let it be tonight."  I must have been so exhausted I went into a deep sleep almost immediately, because at 11:40 p.m. my youngest brother Kenan shook me awake (and I am a notoriously light sleeper) and said:

"Keith, get up.  He's gone.  He just stopped breathing."

I threw on a t-shirt and walked back into the room where my Dad had been laying on his deathbed for three weeks, battling cancer.  As I entered the room, I knew instantly that indeed Dad was "gone."  My sister was already weeping deeply.  My cousin who was the world's best caretaker to my Dad over these last nine months was crying softly at the foot of his bed.  My wife was crying at the head of the bed.  I walked toward Dad's body, my wife shuffled to let me get to him.  I took a moment to console my sister and tell her "It's alright.  Everything is alright now."  I laid my right hand on his forehead and my left hand on his neck.  I had the honor and privilege of feeling Dad's final "pulse," those final few beats, as they weakened, then stopped.

"I praise You O God!  I praise You O God!  I thank You for the gift of my Dad.  What a gift.  What a gift!"

I am sure I said more through tears, but I distinctly remember saying these words, as my youngest brother said "amens" and "hallelujahs."  Jesus had answered my prayer that night swiftly!

"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints" (Psalm 116:15).

My sister, one of my brothers, my wife and cousin and I then gathered around my Dad's body and sang two stanza's of the hymn "There's a Land That is Fairer Than Day."  We were so sad, but so full of joy.  Fighting in the power of the Holy Spirit to see things with God's eyes.

That was two weeks ago.  It has seemed like one long day.  My wife and girls and I have had moments of deep sadness and moments of laughter at good memories.  My church family has been nothing short of amazing.  And we are finding God really is "near to the brokenhearted."

I am not sure why I am compelled to write this today.  It's cathartic for me, I suppose.  I have nothing profound to offer my few readers in this post.  Only to say that Dad was my hero.  Of all humans on this planet, he was at the top of my respect and admiration hierarchy.  My love for him was as pure as love can be in this fallen world.  I was and am so blessed to be chosen by God to be the son of Don W. McWhorter.

But greater still the sheer joy that fills my heart at knowing Dad, and I, are chosen of God to be His adopted sons in Christ Jesus our Lord!  For the last few months of his life, I started a little ritual with Dad.  When I left him, whether for a few days or a few hours, I would say, "Dad, I will see you again."  His eyes would light up with that fire only those closest to him knew, as he looked at me and said, "That's right!  That's right!"

It bolstered both our spirits.  No goodbyes.  No sir!  Jesus made that a thing of the past for His redeemed!

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth . . . and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man.  He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God.  He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.' (Rev 21:1-4).

O, what a Savior!  What a day that will be when my Jesus I shall see!  And, I will see Dad again too!  And though I am so sad I cannot pick up the phone and hear his voice right now, I know there is coming a day when Dad and I will visit in immortal bodies.  Our minds no longer cluttered by sin.  Our hearts pure in love for God and one another.  Our vocal chords tuned perfectly to sing to our Lord Christ.

And we shall sing, "Worthy is the Lamb!"  Together.  With all the saints from all the ages.

O death, where is your sting?

I have seen bitterness run rampant and destroy marriages and relationships with children in horrible ways.  I have sat with women who are harboring bitterness like a treasure.  They have stored it away in their hearts in a safe place.  They say things like, "It does not affect my life.  I am just not ready to lay it down.  I control my emotions well enough that it does not affect me."

And these same women admit that they are angry.  But they somehow think it's not affecting them.

I also sit with women who are there because of countless broken relationships.  Issues in marriage.  Issues with children.  Issues with other women.  These women have not been able to maintain a female friendship ever in their lives.  And when I suggest anger or bitterness as the reason, they deny it.  They are not angry.  They have forgiven and let it go.

I have sometimes responded: "Friend your life does not bear fruit of forgiveness and letting it go.  Bitterness is a seed.  It grows and grows.  It consumes everything in its path.  Often I can see it in a face.  Tight lips.  Furrowed brows.  I can hear it in a voice.  Sharp commanding edges.  Short clipped tones.  I can see it in an attitude.  Short, unhappy, impatient responses.  Attitudes that are 'superior' or 'know it all.'  These repeated behaviors are telling signs of what is happening in a calloused, angry heart.  Bitterness is wicked.  It leaves a mess in its wake."

I have had occasion to discuss bitterness and anger often over the last few months with my sweet daughter, Becca. She has suffered some tragic hurt in her life and it has left her confused and searching for justice.  The answers she has found, while biblical, have not always been easy to swallow.  She found out that even when treated unjustly, she is not to revile.  Even when insulted she is not to threaten.  Even when cast aside and abandoned she is not to hate.

Oh my word!  How hard the biblical truth of the love of God has been for her to read this last year.  I have watcher her lay down her anger over and over again.  And then find out something new and pick it up again.  Heartbreaking.

The words of God through the Apostle Peter have done her much good.  They have been her anchor in a world gone crazy.

When they hurled their insults at Him, He did not retaliate; when He suffered, He made no threats.  Instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly.  1 Peter 2:23

If the Bible is true, and I know it is, and Becca knows it is, then we are able by sanctifying grace to lay down every hurt or wrong done against us and entrust ourselves to the One who judges justly.  God is just.  He is right.  He makes only right decisions.  He never goes against His nature.  He never does anything unjust.

What truth!  What a beautiful, life-changing truth!  I can trust Him.  Becca can trust Him.  When she is reviled against she can not only not revile back, but also not be angry back.  She can simply say to her just God, "I leave that in Your capable, just hands."

When she is abandoned and forsaken and left alone, she can recall the precious words of Hebrews 13:5, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."  She can count on her capable, just God.

When we live like this, there is no room for anger or bitterness.  There is no place for offense to take foothold because God is in charge and He is just.  He is working every single wound to our good to make us like Christ (Rom 8:28-29). Peace that surpasses understanding is the result of trusting Him more than we trust our own "rights" and above our felt need for vengeance.  God never gets anything wrong.  He is at work on behalf of believers all the time.  Christ and the Holy Spirit are justly interceding on our behalf to make all things right.

This is our anchor and hope.  Praise God for never failing at anything!  He is perfectly right and just.  He is trustworthy!

Lay down your bitterness.  Lay down your anger.  Pray and ask for help.  God is able to bear it for you.  Bitter women make bitter enemies because bitterness is enmity with God.  It has no place in the kingdom of God.  Praise the Lord for real freedom from anger through the gospel of Jesus Christ.