Yesterday, the voters of North Carolina did the right thing by voting for an amendment to their Constitution defining marriage as between one man and one woman.

But, how dare me claim this was "the right thing"?  How dare me be so "bigoted" or "unloving"?  My wife (who is our FB Rep) has told me that some of our friends and family do not agree with me on this issue.  Some have expressed embarrassment for the State of NC.  Others have tried to claim Jesus did not speak to the issue.  Some are saying "we" have no right to force our views down everyone else's throats.  (Of course, perhaps it has not occured to them that all laws legislate morality.  The only question is whose morality will become the law of the land).  I invite all readers of this blog to simply hear me out, realizing that when I have addressed this issue in the past responses come out of the wood works, and everyone suddenly is an expert on the Bible.  But friends, please just know that the Bible speaks as clearly to the sin of homosexuality as any issue in the Bible.  Major interpretive gymnastics must be done to avoid the obvious teaching of God in His Book, the Bible.

So, let me begin by simply reminding us all that God ordains all governments and He has ordained government to promote the good and punish the evil (Romans 13:1-7).  The ridiculously clear implication of this is that governments, in order to fulfill God's purposes for them, MUST KNOW GOOD FROM EVIL.  It is a crime against God for a government to reverse this and begin to promote evil and punish good.

But, that is precisely what advocates of so-called "gay marriage" want our governments to do!  While some have said we must not "force" our views on others, that is exactly what ALL LAWS do.  There is no getting around it.  Laws are the governments' way of telling citizens what is right and what is wrong!  Period.  So, if NC voters had chosen to continue to allow an "anything goes" definition of marriage, then that would have been somebody's idea of morality being imposed on everyone else in NC.  Every single law works this way.  So, what is most important is for us to determine whose ideas of right and wrong should be enacted as law.

Enter God.  He does not use fuzzy words or shady logic on the issue of sin, whether it is lying or sexual perversion.  Let's let God speak to this issue and ask for grace to think God's thoughts after Him.

"Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth" (Genesis 1:28).

This is the very first command God gives to His human creatures, whom He has made "male and female" we are told one verse prior.  So, homosexual behavior violates the very first command of God to humanity.  If everyone in that first generation of humans chose to only live the homosexual lifestyle, NONE OF US WOULD BE HERE.

"Have you not read that He who created them in the beginning made them male and female and said, 'For this reason a man [singular] shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife [singular], and the two [not the three or four] shall become one flesh.  So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together let no man separate' " (Matthew 19:4-5).

These are the words of Jesus.  He clearly defines God's design for marriage here as one man + one woman for life.  Jesus surely did speak to the issue put before NC voters yesterday!

"Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?  Do not be deceived, neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effiminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

Could the Holy Spirit of God have said it any clearer through the pen of the Apostle Paul?  [Please note these last two are New Testament quotes, and we have not even touched on Romans 1:18-32.]

So, ultimately it does not matter what any human thinks on this issue.  God has spoken clearly, and thus the NC voters did what was right in God's eyes by codifying His Divine view into law.

But now, we need to ALL notice how the verse above condemns us all to hell.  Jesus said lust in our hearts makes us adulterers (Matt 5:28).  And this is where the gospel comes into play.  While we Christians can and must hold out God's Word, and we must let God define what is sin (wrong) and what is pure (right), what we must not do is act like somehow sexual sin is more deserving of condemnation from God than other sins.

Every sin deserves God's wrath in hell.  "For the wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23).  This is what we have all earned with God (Romans 3:23)!  If we have broken one of God's laws we are guilty enough to be condemned forever (James 2:10).  So, anyone who accuses me of hating someone struggling with the sin of homosexuality simply does not know me.  I pastor a church full of sinners who are struggling with all sorts of sins, and their pastor is not exempted from this statement!

It is very possible that each Sunday someone sits in our pews who truly does struggle with homosexual attraction, or even behavior.  I will not, by God's grace, treat that person any differently than the man who comes to me and says he needs help being a more patient father to his children.  Sin in all its forms ruins us from the inside out (Mark 7).  Sin all stinks and it all has only one solution - the blood of Jesus Christ applied to the sinner's heart by the Holy Spirit of God.

The sin of homosexuality put Jesus on the cross.  God was metting out the punishment countless homosexual sinners had earned, and He was metting it out on the Perfect, sinless Substitute, Jesus.  Lying put Jesus on the cross.  Greed put Him on that judgment tree.  Worshipping false gods put Him there.  Selfishness, lust, sex outside of marriage, envy, lack of sacrificial love for wives and neighbors, failure to love God whole-heartedly, disobedience to parents - this and so much more put the precious Savior on the cross where He bore the wrath we had earned. 

And friends, we dare not for a second look down our noses at another sinner.  It took the same Jesus on the same cross to save the homosexual sinner as it did to save this old selfish sinner preacher.  This is what we hold out to ALL sinful people - the gospel which "is the power of God unto salvation to everyone who believes" (Romans 1:16).  The blood of Jesus can cleanse us "from all sin" (1 John 1:7).

So, Christians have no business either ignoring or neglecting God's clear words on right and wrong, and they should not want to see any other view of morality enacted into law other than God's (it is quite arrogant to think we know what is moral better than God does).  Christian, you do not have the option of thinking about things from your own perspective or your culture's.  Rather, you are called by the God who bought you with His blood to "take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5).  Christian, you are to "have the mind of Christ" (1 Cor 2:16).  Christ's mind on issues of sin is as clear as a moutain stream.  Jesus always condemned sin.  Think His thoughts after Him and never apologize for it!

On the other hand, Christians never have a right to ostracize a certain segment of sinners, or mistreat another human, or be unloving or unkind to any people or any person.  Rather, we are the ones who hold out the ONLY HOPE for homosexuals and liars - His Name is Jesus and He can change the heart of ANY sinner when His Spirit invades that person's life and applies the precious gospel truth.

Let's make sure we read the "rest of the story" from 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 quoted above.  Verse 11 goes on to say . . .

"Such were some of you [note the past tense]; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God."

Our culture tells people who you are can never change.  Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic.  And so on.  This is a bunch of demonic lies.  God says the blood of His Son and the power of His Spirit can wash any sinner clean and change the very disposition of his or her heart.  John Newton, the slave-trader turned Christian hymnist and pastor said it this way:

"I once was lost, but now am found.  Was blind, but now I see."

I urge everyone reading this to own yourself a helpless, wrath-deserving sinner before God.  I urge everyone reading this to cry out to Jesus for mercy and forgiveness and cleansing and a new life that seeks to please an Audience of One.  May you be given grace today to truly confess from the deepest part of you - "Jesus is Lord."

And by the way - this response is why I cannot be on Facebook!  FB lends itself to trite sayings that are shallow and careless and not biblically informed at all.  There is no way I could read the comments of people in my own family, and people who I know are in evangelical churches who actually thought NC should endorse homosexuality as a behavior and lifestyle, without giving a 1500 word answer.  Should we also get rid of laws against wife abuse?  Child pornagraphy?  Pedophilia?  Lying in court?  Polygamy?  Parental rights to raise children as they deem fit?  You see, laws always legislate morality.  It is always only a question of whose morality will be codified and enforced.  May NC voters continue to use the only true source of morality in this world - the Holy Word of the One True Holy God, the Bible.

Odd how God's Holy Spirit so often brings the text preachers are planning to preach to bear on their own souls first.  Or, maybe it should not strike me as so odd, since preachers really have no business in pulpits if God's Word is not actively shaping, molding and squeezing them, too!

Yesterday, I began a 9 sermon series on the Family called "Heavenly Home Work."  We began yesterday by exploring True Love, with 1 John 4:7-11 as our holy text.  Of course, the thrust of the text and the sermon was the truth, "God is love."  God defines love.  He is the essence of love.  God does not change, therefore love, which flows out of His character, does not change!

God's love was manifested best through the bloody cross work of His perfect Son Jesus.  Jesus did not follow the "you fill my love tank and I'll fill yours" philosophy.  Nobody seemed remotely interested in filling Jesus' love tank while He hung on the cross enduring God's holy wrath against countless sins of countless sinners like me.  But, in the face of raw hatred Jesus said, "Father, forgive them."

That's True Love.  It is a settled act of the will that causes one to always act sacrifcially and willingly for God's glory and the good of the beloved.  That's what I preached yesterday.  True Love changes everything, not the least of which is our marriages!

But, apparently my thick skull needed a powerful reminder of how wonderful it is to be loved in this way - like God loves.  So, here goes a confession . . .

Saturday night I took a shower and got ready to get into bed.  My wife was already in bed.  She simply asked as I began to climb in bed if I had remembered to turn the water off to our home (we have a leaking sink that requires we shut the water down at night until we can get the sink fixed).  Simple question.  No ill will intended by my wife.

I snapped at her and said some ugly things as I stomped down stairs to go do my "duty."  I was frustrated.  I wanted to just go to bed!  I did not want to have to go ALL THE WAY down stairs to save us some major water bill dough!  I was a selfish brat and my wife bore the brunt.

Do you know what happened?  Five minutes after I climbed into bed and began to get nestled under the covers, Michele turned towards me and softly said, "I love you, honey."

Now, Michele had no idea what the Holy Spirit was up to in my heart just then!  The conviction hit home.  I had just snapped at my wife sinfully for no good reason.  And, her answer was just to love me.  True Love.  It cannot be stopped!

I asked Michele to forgive me the next morning.  Funny thing is she remembered none of it - she sleeps soundly!

Friends, I cannot tell you the joy and wonder of being loved by my wife in spite of myself.  I get glimpses of Jesus' love for me every time my bride chooses to love instead of treating me like I deserve. 

Like God, Michele just loves me because she loves me.  God help all us husbands and wives to reflect His love and beauty in the same way.  God give us True Love.

"It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the Lord set His love on you and chose you, for you were the fewest of all peoples, but it is because the Lord loves you" (Deut 7:7-8).

"A gray head is a crown of glory; It is found in the way of righteousness" (Prov. 16:31).

During my 39 years on this earth, the Lord has been immeasurably good to me.  God has particularly blessed me by giving me wise grandparents.  While all my grandparents have now gone on to behold the glory of God in the face of Christ, I still carry with me so much wisdom passed down from them. 

Grandaddy "Mc" was my fishing buddy.  He died back in the early 80s when I was a young boy.  But my memories of him are vivid.  He was so fun to be around.  He had such a joy for life and a knack for making a good time out of the simplest of things.  Like fishing.  He even managed to laugh when I caught a snapping turtle that almost took his finger off one day!  He taught me how to relax and enjoy the day God is giving me . . . though it has taken me many years to really begin to learn how to live out this wisdom!  I have not always relaxed and enjoyed life before God, but I am learning.

It was also always a joy to be with my Papaw Wilkie.  He had a good joke or two or three waiting on me with each arrival.  His wit and sense of humor were amazing, and his writing skills are something I can still only aspire to gaining.  He wrote articles for many newspapers in NC and elsewhere.  His favorite article was probably the one he wrote for the NC Baptist Children's Homes paper, Charity & Children.  Papaw never met a stranger.  He taught me by example how to treat all people with dignity, humor, and good old-fashioned hospitality.

Nannie Wilkie was perhaps the most "stately" woman I've ever known.  So elegant and so kind.  She took great delight in cooking up a fine meal for all us hungry grandkids, and in her later years, great-grandkids!  She excelled at keeping in touch with me over the years, no matter how far away I was, via her hand-written cards and letters.  I learned the value of hand-writing cards, which I still try to do today as a pastor.  In this age of tweeting, texting and tooting, there still is no substitute for a thoughtful, hand-written card. 

Mamaw "Mc" was the grandparent I got to spend the most time around.  She was a treasure.  I loved to see her in the mornings with her open Bible and hot cup of coffee.  She loved to ask me questions about the Bible and theology, right up 'til her death.  She was a simple mountain woman, but a life-long learner, which is the essence of a disciple.  She had more common "horse sense" in her little finger than a public school full of "know-it-all" seniors. 

All my grandparents taught me so much, most of all, what it meant to love Jesus and walk with Him through life's valleys and peaks.  It was wonderful to know them and see them growing stronger in faith in their final years on this planet.

Recently, I have had the joy of visiting some precious older saints of God in hospitals.  I took my family with me, which I highly recommend to every single Christian parent out there, by the way!  Public schools do not "socialize" your children.  Putting kids together with same-age kids does not in any way prepare them for real service to real people in a really broken world. 

Take your children to listen to an 86 year old lady say, "The Lord has held my hand my whole life."  Let them see that same lady wracked in pain, say with big tears filing her eyes, "I want to be in church so badly."  Let them hear a man going blind tell you how much he desires to be able to donate his shoes (which he no longer needs) to the church clothing ministry because he wants others to have them who might not otherwise be able to afford them.  Let your family see a feeble, white-haired man holding the pastor's (my) hand tightly, not wanting to let go, and gasping into my ear that he prays for me every day.  Listen to your family bless a hurting saint and nurses standing in the halls by singing "Amazing Grace" around his bedside. 

Oh friends, there is no subsistute for God's wisdom passed down by saints who have walked with Him longer than we have been alive!  Don't let your families miss out on these opportunities to be a blessing, but mostly to be blessed by our elderly church members. 

God says, "A gray head is a crown of glory; it is found in the way of righteousness." 

Are we listening?       

Often in the Bible we read the phrase "And it came to pass" (in the classic KJV vernacular).  Or, in more modern English translations it might be "And so it happened."  What follows on the heels of this Bible phrase varies widely, from the most mundane to a whirwind of insane activity.

And so it goes in life.  Transitions come and go.  We close one chapter to open a new.

The past four months have been a time of tremendous transition for me and my family.  The Lord has given us a new church, Corydon Baptist Church in Corydon, IN.  (www.corydonbaptist.org).  The people are precious and the Southern Indiana scenery is gorgeous with its rolling hills and wooded farmlands.  We pinch ourselves daily!

We were so blessed to serve King Jesus at Tar Landing Baptist Church in Jacksonville, NC for 5 years.  We miss it, but also know that God led us here to Corydon.  God has favored us by allowing me to serve as Preaching Pastor here at CBC, and He alone gets glory for any good accomplished in and through me, period.  I have already been telling the folks here at CBC, "If it's good, it's got to be God.  If it's not so great, it must be me!"

But what I want to explore in this post is the challenge of marriage and parenting through a time of major transition.  Anyone who says moving or changing things does not impact a marriage or home is just lying.  We (the McWhorter's) knew this time would stretch us, stress us, and potentially undo us if we did not rest solely in the grace of God in Christ.

To be truthful, I have sinned against God and my wife and children in these tension-ridden days of moving furniture, setting up new routines, new offices, new bills to pay, new people to meet, and on and on it goes.  I could use the "stress" as an excuse, but it would not make my sin any less sinful.  Anger is anger.  Lashing out in frustration is lashing out in frustration.  Blame-shifting is blame-shifting.

It is only the gracious presence of Holy Spirit God in my life that has kept me repenting before God and my wife and children.  They have been so good to forgive me repeatedly in the last few months!  I could never deserve them, and I could never deserve my Savior who just keeps lavishing me with love and kindness in spite of my fretful self.

Christian friends, could you imagine where you would be or how you would live apart from the restraining power and presence of God in your hearts?  After all the stressed out antics I've unleashed recently I am amazed Jesus still wants me and keeps me, not to mention my precious wife and children!

And so that's the point.  How do we get through life's transitions without losing our minds, blowing our stacks completely, losing our marriages or needlessly harming our children?

The gospel. 

Time after time in these days of change I have felt the tug of God on my heart to get in the Word, and to lead my family to a passage of Scripture that helped keep us focused on what matters most in this life - the glory and grace of God in the gospel of Jesus Christ! 

One episode comes immediately to my mind.  The home we bought is older and had been sitting for some time prior to us moving into it.  So, we have had a fair share of plumbing "back-ups" and clogged pipes.  This sometimes forced us out of the home for a few nights at a time, since the bathrooms were inoperable (totally unacceptable to my girls to go behind the tree out back, but I made the suggestion nonetheless).  When the stress level got high, just before we had company coming up from NC to visit, I knew God was calling and equipping me by His Spirit to be "the man of the house."

Not by fixing the plumbing, because I'm clueless on home repairs!  But by leading my family in the Word.  So, we reminded ourselves that evening, with overflowing toilets all around us, that people all over the world did not have homes, or toilets.  We reminded ourselves that young girls in Vietnam were in prison that very night for loving Jesus and reading their Bibles.  We remembered that God had called us here to be gospel salt and light to the people of Southern Indiana.  Were we going to let a toilet shipwreck us and drive us to ingratitude?

In short, we preached the gospel to ourselves that night.  God carried us through on the wings of His gospel and the winds of grace, and we were refreshed in the midst of our "life transition."

The gospel is good for all of life's ups and downs.  It is powerful to save, powerful to keep, powerful to renew, powerful to convict.  The gospel is powerful, for in it Christ graciously comes to us and reminds us, "I died to redeem you from every lawless deed, and to purify you for Myself as My very own possession.  Now go be zealous to live for My Fame" (see Titus 2:14).

Praise God, I believe more stable times are ahead for us here.  But, I'm thankful for gospel grace and forgiveness in the times of transition, too!

I am in the process of moving to a new state and a new ministry.  I do not think many folks are actually following this blog, but for the few who are, I just wanted to say I plan to either get this blog back up and running soon, or perhaps begin a new one.  Either way, I will let you faitfhul few know soon!

Stay fixed on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of faith!

Keith

One of the western world's most famous atheists, Christopher Hitchens, died this week.  He is no longer an atheist, assuming we define it not in the strictest terms (against God), but in the common vernacular - "a non-believer in God's existence."

Hitchens made lots of money writing books with titles like god is not Great (Yes, the actual book title does not capitalize "god").  He also enjoyed debating various Christian scholars or believers.  Last night on NBC, Brian Williams made the outlandish claim that Hitchens won most of his debates.  I personally never saw a debate that I thought Hitchens "won." 

You see, when you "debate" against God, you cannot win.  The Psalmist of Israel wrote, "The fool has said in his heart, there is no God."  That verse can mean one of two things, or maybe both.  It can mean that it is the ultimately foolish thing to do to try and claim there is no God.  It is not scientific, nor is it sound religion.  To ignore God's existence or to deny it is the height of folly. 

But, a more literal translation would be "The fool has said in his heart, 'No, God!' "  The difference is subtle, but perhaps important.  Not only is it foolish to deny God's reality, it is even worse to stand against God, to tell God "no!" 

Sadly, Hitchens fit both bills.  He was a fool in every respect and in every way meant by the Psalmist.  But, like every person before him, he died. 

The irony of me and many others taking note of his death is that if we followed Hitchens' worldview to a "T," we would not mourn his loss or even take any thought of it at all.  According to Hitchens' way of thinking, his death was no different than the death of a muskrat out in the unseen woods of Idaho.  Both Hitchens and the muskrat were just accidental combinations of atoms and chemicals, come together in an oddly organized way for a little while, and now dissolving back into the dirt from which they spontaneously arose many millions of years ago.  Both lives were, in the end, totally meaningless and without any overarching purpose.  Just another cosmic accident, a cog in the evolutionary wheel. 

How different this "blind faith" is from that of wise King Solomon: "Then the dust returns to the earth, as it was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it" (Eccl 12:7).

Now, Christopher Hitchens is no longer a disbeliever in God.  But, he is forever "against God," which is the truest sense of the moniker "atheist."  Hell is giving it to him his way, just the way he wanted it - godless.  And this must be one of the worst horrors of hell - though you now know that God is great after all, so infinitely good, glorious, beautiful and worthy, you cannot have Him.  Not ever.  That is, after all, what atheists and all sinners apart from God's saving grace in Christ desire.  As one mountain preacher put it long ago, "Hell is God saying, 'Have it your way.' " 

This torment of being forever cut off from God's glory in the face of Christ I would not wish upon Hitchens or anyone else.  I am saddened by Hitchens' death, as well as his sin-wracked life.  The death of this one who claimed to be an atheist has only strengthened my resolve to tell more people to "Repent and believe the gospel" (Mark 1:15). 

You see, there are no dead atheists. 

Who do the nations rage and the peoples plot in vain?  The kings of the earth set themselves and the rulers take counsel together against the Lord and His Messiah, saying, "Let us burst their bonds apart and cast away their cords from us."  He who sits in the heavens laughs; the Lord holds them in derision.  Then He will speak to them in His wrath, and terrify them in His fury saying, "As for Me, I have set My King on Zion, My holy hill" (Psalm 2:1-6).               

This just in from the parenting "experts" on NBC's Today Show: The way to solve child tantrums is to ignore them!

Who knew it was that easy?  Maybe this is the key to solving all our problems and unwanted conflicts in life - just stick your head in the sand.  Close your eyes and plug your ears and mumble under your breath to drown out the noise and pretend it's not really there. 

Is this seriously advice coming from grown up "scientific" (their word, not mine) researchers?  They claimed during that segment, that thirty years of research have finally revealed to us what "works" (the ever-present language of utilitarianism) in parenting, especially when it comes to handling tantrums.  

Really?  Thirty years of sweaty lab coat technicians and all you can give us as parents is "Ignore your children"?  This is a joke, right?  The experts said to use "positive reinforcement" and to praise your way through a tantrum.  What, pray tell, is praiseworthy about a self-centered, egotistical raving mad fit? 

Friends, child neglect is killing us as a people and as a church.  Parenting God's way rarely if ever involves you in ignoring selfish, sinful behavior.  The experts on the Today Show said tantrums are solely behavioral.  So, their solution is based solely on "what works" to adjust the outward behavior.  [These behavorial modification techniques are grounded solidly in atheisitc evolution, by the way.  Control a child the same way you control a dog.  That's the idea.]   

But Jesus said we do what we do because of our inward corruption.  Our behavior flows from our hearts (Mark 7:14-23).  The question Christian parents must always ask is "Why is my child behaving/thinking/speaking this way?"  Parenting God's way demands we ask the why question.  Parenting God's way also demands we teach and train our children to also ask the why question of their own hearts.  The Book of Proverbs is one big example of this Divinely ordained technique in action.  Why do you think the kingly Dad of Proverbs tells his son, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he"?   

In training our children to probe their own hearts, using the Holy Scriptures, we are ministering the gospel to them.  For, as they continually come to see the ugliness within themselves, and compare that filth with the holiness of God, our children will despair of ever obtaining God's favor through mere "behavior modification."  And, when it comes to the gospel and the eternal souls of our children, despair is a good thing.  It is despair that parents, pastors, and others can use to drive children to the foot of the cross!

So, rather than ignore that tantrum, why not do it the way the Perfect Parent says to do it? 

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him (Prov. 22:15).

Heeding this counsel will prove much more beneficial to your child.  This parenting technique is "what works" in God's eyes!  This kind of parenting will address both the outward behavior (after all, children throw tantrums because they want attention.  So, pay attention to their backsides with a few crisp swats!) and the inward corruption which is driving the behavior.  Do you see how this one simple proverb demands that parents train their children by both physical discipline that changes behaviors, as well as by showing them the foolishness that is binding their hearts? 

Parenting God's way is not for the timid or lazy.  Ignoring sin in your children is easy.  Letting them go their own way takes no effort.  This is precisely what today's parenting gurus told American Dads and Moms to do.  But here's what Sovereign God says:

He who withholds the rod of correction hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently (Prov. 13:24).

As with everything else in life, it comes down to this, parents - who or what is your authority?  Today's researchers and psychiatrists may know how to modify outward behavior.  But only God can "search the heart" (Jeremiah 17:10).    

*View the Today Show clip here: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/3041445/ns/today-parenting/

Fatherlessness is killing the very soul of our nation and churches. 

Several Christian bloggers and scholars have written on the impact of boys being raised without a Dad (either literally or by absenteeism).  The rise in gangs and gang violence has been shown to have a very direct link to fatherlessness.  A generation of violent, angry young men has been and will continue to take to the streets of America, wreaking havoc. 

But, what about girls?  Don't they need Dads, too? 

Erin Pougnet's research at Concordia University says so.  Recently her research for her Ph.D. was discussed at www.lifesitenews.com.  Her study demonstrated the critical importance of Dads on things like a child's IQ, behavior, and emotional stability. 

But, perhaps more importantly, Pougnet's study manifested that a Dad's absence negatively impacts girls more than boys.  The researcher said, "Girls whose fathers were absent during their middle childhood had significantly higher levels of emotional problems at school than girls whose fathers were present." 

Now, given the horrific affects of absentee Dads on boys, the assertion that girls are even more affected is alarming.  Or, it should be!

Could this be one of the main causes of the drastic rise in angry, violent teen girls?  You have seen those sickening videos of girls beating one another, kicking and punching other girls while they are squirming on the ground in pain, often being coaxed on by dim-wit mothers, haven't you?  Angry young men are not nearly as scary as angry young women, at least in my book.

As a pastor, I have personally seen young women growing up without Dads, or who have their Dads somehow removed from their lives.  Very often these girls act out in angry, self-inflicting ways.  Eating disorders.  Cutting.  Drug abuse.  Drinking.  Partying.  Sex and sexual perversions.  Fighting and bullying. 

And no doubt many of these girls lay their heads down on their pillows at night and cry themselves to sleep.  Lonely.  Desparate for the stability that only Dad can bring to a home and family.

Sadly, the research done by Pougnet and her associates will ultimately look to the government to enact new policies to encourage or support Dads in families.  But, oh, dear friends, don't we realize that governmental programs and policies over the past 75 years are one of the prime suspects in the decline of fathers?! 

Uncle Sam is no savior.  Only Jesus saves!       

May lonely men, women, girls and boys be given grace to find in God a Father who delights in rescuing and redeeming the fatherless through the bloody cross-work of His Son.  Amen.

For several weeks now, we have been exploring what I have called "The Big Seven."  These are the seven key issues that have great potential to either bless or curse a Christian marriage.  I guess one might say they can be either the "Seven Deadly Sins" or the "Seven Life-Giving Blessings."  I hope you have been reading these posts with your spouses or fiancees, discussing them, searching the Scriptures referenced, and perhaps even using the posts to instruct your children.

These posts are not special or full of new ideas.  I do not wish you to read them merely because I wrote them.  Rather, what I have attempted to do is to explain and apply the words of God pertaining to marriage.  To the extent I have, by the Spirit's illuminating grace, rightly divided the word of truth, these posts will be successful.  It is not my blog that will bless and strengthen your marriage.  It is the Holy Spirit of God applying the Scriptures that ensure success. 

To finish this series of posts, then, let me give you three key words that I think best capture God's grand design for marriage.  Marriage is, after all, His idea and His creation.  So, let's think on the design of the Designer.

1. Image.  Genesis 1:26-27 tells us God created mankind in His own image, "Male and female He created them."  We can hardly underestimate the importance of the doctrine theologians call the imago dei (image of God).  In everything we do as humans, we are intended to image God, to reflect His goodness, mercy, love, creativity, and righteousness.  Of course, sin has marred His image in us, but those redeemed in Christ are having His image restored day-by-day.  Perhaps more than any other human relationship, marriage provides us the very best opportunity to show off God's glorious image.  So, husbands and wives, daily commit to seeking God's grace and face to image Him to one another.
2. Covenant.  Malachi 2:14 tells us God is a "witness" between husbands and wives.  The text continues and says, "She is your companion and your wife by covenant."  No doubt, this is why a few sentences later we read about God's holy hatred for divorce.  You see, our God is a Covenant Maker and a Covenant Keeper.  In fact, many Bible scholars have summed up the Old Testament's relationship to the New Testament as "Promises made - promises kept."  This is surely how Mary viewed her miraculous pregnancy (Luke 1:46-55).  Zacharias, too, saw Jesus' birth as God keeping His covenantal promise (Luke 1:67-79).  Ditto for Simeon (Luke 2:29-32).  God makes covenants with His people, and despite His people's faithlessness, He proves faithful time after time.  Here again, the lesson is obvious: Marriage, above all other human relationships, has the greatest potential to image and glorify and reflect our Covenant-Making God whose faithfulness is the very source of our salvation and eternal bliss. 
3. Christ.  In the end, everything is about Him, isn't it?  God surely says so (Col 1; Heb 1).  No surprise, then, that Paul tells us marriage is a showcase for the redeeming love of Christ for His people (Eph 5:22-33).  Love between Christian husbands and wives is to reflect and image Christ, whose love is so amazing John wonders where in the world it comes from (1 John 3:1).  It is other-worldly love, and we believers in Christ are called and enabled to share in it and give it (Rom 5:5; 1 Peter 1:22-23).  Also no surprise, then, that at the end of time as we know it, we see the Blessed Bridegroom, King Jesus, showing off His bride, the church (Rev 21:9).  And, then the Bride's eyes will be twinkling with her Groom's love - showing "the immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus" (Eph 2:7).  Christian marriage is about Jesus Christ.  More than any other human relationship, it has potential to make His Name and Fame great, or to give the watching world reason to doubt His power and person.

With so much riding on Christian marriages, is it any wonder, then, that Paul writes to the Church at Corinth: 

To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): The wife should not separate from her husband, but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband; and the husband should not divorce his wife (1 Cor 7:10-11).

"Christian divorce" was simply inconceivable to Paul.  I mean, in the previous chapter he had urged believers not to take other believers to court (1 Cor 6:1-8).  Two married believers going to divorce court was more than the Apostle could bear to even consider!  So, the Lord's word to two genuinely saved people who are married is this: Stay married!  But if you separate, your options are two - singlehood or reconciliation. 

Not popular.  Not what we hear from pulpits today.  Not what we want to hear.  And while I surely do not think divorce and remarriage is some kind of unforgiveable sin (the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin), I do long for our pulpits to once again be aflame with these words of our God. 

Marriage is for His glory!  Marriage is about Christ!  Marriage is a workshop where Jesus is modeled!  This is serious business, brothers and sisters!  So get on your knees together and stay on your knees together as husband and wife crying out for God's sovereign grace to carry and sustain you as you image Him, covenant with Him and one another, and radiate the love of the glorified Savior. 

"What God has therefore joined together, let no man separate."  For Jesus' sake.  Amen.

I believe in generational curses.

Now, as a Southern Baptist pastor, and a Calvinistic / Reformed one at that, this statement may prove shocking.  So, let me explain. 

I do not believe in generational curses the way some of my Pentecostal friends do.  They propose that not only do certain sins or sinful propensities run in families (with which I agree), but that current generations are actually being punished by God for the sins of past generations (with which I disagree).

The idea of a "generational curse" comes from Exodus 20:5, which states: "I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me."

On the surface, it may appear God is saying He punishes children for their parents' or grandparents' iniquities, particularly the sin of hating Him.  Of course, a careful look at the text shows us that God says He "visits" not "punishes."  Thus, just using the actual words of the text itself, the main teaching is that indeed iniquities run in families!  Sinful dispositions are in our genes, friends.  For those understanding the Doctrine of Total Depravity, this comes as no surprise.  Sin has infected every part of us as human beings, including our genetics and DNA.  So, it should shock no one that when watching our children, "the apple does not fall far from the tree," as we oft repine.  Thus, the text mainly teaches us about what I call Sin Cycles in family lines.  These can be easily observed.  More on that later.

Going a step further, however, and employing the Principle of "Scripture interprets Scripture," we must soundly reject the idea of God punishing current people for past people's sins.  Why?  Because Ezekiel 18 directly addresses that faulty interpretation of Exodus 20 among the people of Israel.  The Israelites of Ezekiel's day interpreted Exodus 20:5 in the same way some Christians do today, and God strongly refuted their interpretation.  They claimed they were being punished by God for the sins of their ancestors (18:1-2).  God's answer is given in verse 4, and again in verse 13, yet again in verse 17,  once more in verse 20, and several times more in the chapter. 

"The soul who sins shall die."

Simple.  Clear.  God punishes each person for his or her own sins.  And, don't we all have enough heaped up iniquities to rightly call down God's wrath on us now and forever?  Why would God need to punish us for someone else's sins when we have so many of our own?  That is the lesson of Ezekiel 18.  Hear God's mercy-saturated conclusion:

"Therefore I will judge you . . . every one according to his ways, declares the Lord God.  Repent and turn from all your transgressions lest iniquity be your ruin . . . Why will you die, O house of Israel?  For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Lord God, so turn and live" (vv. 30-32).

This matter of breaking the sin cycles handed down to us by ancestors, teachers, peers, politicians, pastors (yes, sadly), and others is recurring in the Bible.  Think of the Book of Judges!  Consider the words of God via the Prophet Jeremiah when he was explaining why God's judgment was about to fall: "Because they have forsaken my law that I set before them, and have not obeyed my voice or walked in accord with it, but have stubbornly followed their own hearts and have gone after the Baals, as their fathers taught them" (Jer 9:13-14).    

You see, dear Christian, we have been taught many things by many people, not the least of which are our parents and family members.  Treasure the good things passed down (good as defined by God's Word).  Trash the unbiblical things or bad habits or sinful cycles.  Cry out for God's grace to powerfully move your heart and life, so that you can have His strength to break those sin cycles in your own homes.  Do whatever it takes, by the grace of God's Spirit working through His Word, to break the damaging cycles.  For God's glory and the good of your marriage / home, break the cycles! 

Some of us have learned divorce from our parents.  Children of divorce, of all people, should hate it and be crying out for grace and doing whatever it takes to break this ruinous cycle in their own marriages!  Divorce is an especially difficult cycle to break, too, as borne out by research showing that second marriages fare even worse than the first, third worse than seconds, and so on.  But, in Christ, "where sin abounds, grace more than abounds."

Some of us have learned poor communication or little to no communication.  Closing off from your spouse is just another form of running and hiding . . . handed down to us all by our first parents in Eden.  If marriage is to express the intimacy between Christ and His church, then what place could hiding and running and sewing fig leaves possibly have in it? 

Some of us have learned abuse, whether by alcohol or drugs or physical harm or demeaning words.  God help those of you who have seen and experienced this cycle to find healing in Jesus and to be given mercy to break this cycle.

Some of us have learned workaholism.  Some have learned materialism.  Some have learned humanism (self-centeredness which claims so many supposed "rights" to be happy and get our way).  Oh the things we have learned!  Oh the sin cycles that we must break in Jesus' name!

Every spouse carries baggage into his or her marriage.  Some of the luggage glorifies God and should be treasured and retained.  But, because we are fallen children of Adam, much of our baggage must be jettisoned by the sanctifying grace of God.  And, this is true not just of "hand-me-down" baggage, but also because of suitcases we all pick up along life's journey, as well.  Every generation of believers must examine baggage and cycles using the lens of Scripture to discern what stays and what must go. 

May God give all His redeemed people a strong desire to fight for and live the vision of Romans 8:1, which reminds us "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." 

Christian husband, lay the baggage down at Jesus' feet.  Do it once, and again and again as you fight for God's glory in your marriage and home. 

Christian wife, beg for grace to break the sin cycles you have both inherited and picked up willingly.  Trash what dishonors your Savior and King.  Do it today, and every day thereafter until you see His face.

Jesus, help us identify and own our baggage.  Show us the sinful cycles we must break in our lives so that we can live each day in the power You give to "walk in the newness of life."  Help us, Holy Spirit, to "put to death the deeds of the body" that we might live as "sons of God."  Thank you, dear Savior, for bearing our filthy luggage on the cross, so that through total trust in You, we might not have to experience your wrath.  Thank You, Father God, for "visiting" our iniquities on Your Holy Son, making Him a curse for us, so that we might receive the blessed promises that only Jesus deserves.  Amen.