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“Fathers [parents], do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).  

For several months now, our newscasters have been reporting on the phenomenon of distraught parents pushing back against school boards, teachers, and the public educational system in general.  Granted, the demeanor of these parents is not always kind. And yet, many conservative Christians cannot help but feel empathy, if not just outright cheer them on.  Bible-treasuring believers have historically held that parents are the God-ordained authorities in the lives of children, followed by faithful pastors and other wise Christian mentors (Deut 6; Ps 78; Eph 6; Col 3; Titus 2).  

If anyone doubts the critical impact of either godly or ungodly, active or negligent parenting, one need only look to the Book of Judges.  That entire disastrously wicked period in Israel’s history was set off by poor parenting (see Judges 2:10-11).  

So, seeing even non-Christian parents awaken to the reality of their responsibilities around our nation is encouraging.  To use a worn-out phrase, the infiltration of Marxism (via CRT), Planned Parenthood and over-sexualization into the public schools has “awakened a sleeping giant.”  

But many of us are surprised it has taken so long.  For 30+ years, faithful Christian leaders such as Voddie Baucham and Albert Mohler have been warning parents, particularly Christian parents, of the inevitable impact of atheistic and/or demonic curricula in the state schools.  The science curricula for decades have been overtly atheistic, teaching Darwinism as fact, and squelching any pushback against this theory which becomes less and less scientific, and more and more religious (scientism) with each passing year.  And the social sciences curricula have been demonic for decades.  That might sound too harsh to some, but consider that students in Tennessee were required to recite the Islamic creed, “There is no God but Allah and Muhammed is His Prophet.”  Students in California are urged to use Buddhist meditation techniques to start their morning. And the list goes on, all across our land.  

Several years ago, I attended a high school graduation (held on a Sunday which is an obvious attack on Christianity), in my little town of Corydon, IN.  No public prayers were permitted as part of the ceremony.  Yet, the Valedictorian’s speech lambasted one man one woman marriage, and expressed overt support for so-called “gay marriage.”  So much for the mantra, “But our schools are different.  We’re not California.”  

Anyone who knows me knows that I am an unabashed supporter of homeschooling, particularly intentional biblical homeschooling, where God’s Word is the educational priority and all other subjects are filtered through its absolutely authoritative lens.  I have for decades encouraged parents in churches to prayerfully and seriously consider alternatives to the public schools.  At the same time, I have loved and prayed for and respected the public school teachers in the churches I serve.  They’re still in this fight with their biblical hands tied behind their backs.  Many of them are doing the very best they can to love and instruct children from insanely broken homes, for the glory of Christ.  And, I have loved and prayed for and respected parents in the churches I serve who disagree with me and prefer their children stay in public schools.  God is God. I am not.  We are all seeking to be faithful by His sanctifying grace.  I have known homeschool parents who shouldn’t be homeschooling.  And I have known public school parents who are just being lazy when they could and should homeschool.  If Christians in the same local church cannot have open, respectful and loving conversations and even disagreements in matters such as this, then we are clearly not as Spirit-filled as we might claim.  

God has blessed me with church members who do, by His grace, know how to keep the gospel central and love each other through these kinds of debates, discussions and disagreements.  A recent conversation I had with a teacher in my congregation reminded me that whenever a parent leaves a child with anyone, be it a teacher, minister, nursery worker, or another parent / home, he or she is in fact delegating responsibility.  So, every parent at some point will entrust someone else to nurture and instruct his or her child.  The only question is to whom will we entrust them and for how long?  

For many years I have said that parents who send their children to a school for 6-8 hours a day for 12 years are, in fact, entrusting those teachers, the curricula, and the system to raise their child.  In many cases, the child spends far more time with teachers and coaches than he does with parents.  Though I have received tons of pushback on my assertion, I think the claim is a simple matter of logic.  He who has the most access to the child, is likely to have the most influence upon the child.  After all, what does it mean to “nurture / bring up” a child?  The biblical view of parenting seems to me to be holistic, so to teach and train a child is to nurture and raise up a child.  So again, the only question for parents is to whom will I entrust my child, and for how long and for what purposes?  

All of this means I am torn. On the one hand I stand on the side of God-given parental authority.  Part of me cheers on these parents who are tackling school boards and seeking to reclaim some authority over what their child learns.  On the other hand, I think in some respect, a parent must admit that there really is no way for her to dominate or even consistently supervise the public schools, at least not without sitting in every class with the child all day long.  Sending your child to school is in essence a delegation of authority, which implies some measure of trust (one hopes a large measure).

And therein lies the problem, right?  Many parents have lost trust in the state educational systems, the boards, and in many cases (thanks to students filming everything in the classroom on i-phones) the teachers.  No doubt, blame lies upon both parties.  Both parties must come to the negotiating table with respect for one another.  Where compromises can be made, both parties must make them, for the good of the children.  In the end, it could be a good thing that parents are finally back in board meetings, and are fully engaged in their children’s upbringing, of which education is a monumentally significant plank.

But whether or not a system dominated by pagans and ungodly worldviews, and homes broken by sin and enslaved to selfish lusts, can respectfully and lovingly listen to one another, well, my theology tells me it’s just not going to happen.  This is what it’s like, dear Christians, to live in a truly pagan society.  

May God give us strength, courage, and the love of Christ to live as salt and light.  May we speak the good news of salvation in Jesus for those who repent and believe.  Students in public schools 100-150 years ago learned to read and write with Bible in hand.  They memorized Scripture. Often their teachers taught in the one-room school house, which also happened to be the town’s church.  And those teachers worshipped the risen Christ together with students and their families every Sunday.  O God, awaken us.  America is lost.  Lord Jesus, please seek us, and find us, and rescue us from our sin.  

“But understand this, in the last days perilous times will come. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God” (2 Tim 3:1-4).

And Paul’s talking about people inside the churches!  Just read vv. 5-9.  God have mercy on us.  If this is the state of the Church, woe unto the Country.  Only Jesus can save us from ourselves, and from God’s wrath against our sin.  May He save more American sinners.  Only then will transformation begin.

A mom in our church recently texted me a question:

“I’d like to know what top 12 hymns you would recommend all children know.”

Great question!  This mom planned to teach her children a “Hymn of the Month” in her home.  Great idea!  Praise God!  What pastor doesn’t delight in such a question and such a desire? 

Without even giving it any deep thought, I fired off these twelve:

1) Holy, Holy, Holy

2) Praise to the Lord, the Almighty

3) How Firm a Foundation

4) The Church’s One Foundation

5) And Can it Be?

6) It is Well With My Soul

7) A Mighty Fortress

8) Rock of Ages

9) On Christ the Solid Rock

10) My Lord I Did Not Choose You

11) Jesus Keep Me Near the Cross

12) In Christ Alone

So, there you have it!  I could have easily listed dozens more.  My childhood was crammed with hymns.  And we filled our home with hymns too, when our girls were growing up.  While there is no substitute for reading and discussing the Bible with your kids in your home, singing hymns ought to be a centerpiece of every Christian home.  Great hymns help us lock sound theology into our minds forever.  God is so often pleased to grant grace to us as we sing these magnificent truths of who God is, who we are, who Christ is, and how we must repent and believe. 

Do you know these twelve hymns?  Do your children?  Grandchildren?  Are you singing them regularly in your homes?          

“Sing praises to the Lord, all you His saints, and give thanks unto His holy name” (Psalm 30:4). 

Dear Linda J. Lucas,

February 6th is generally a sad day in our home.  That’s the day our Savior called you to His side.  Your baby girl, Michele, was 10 years old.  So close to embarking upon her journey into young womanhood.  Although I know you are with the Lord where there are “pleasures forevermore” (Ps 16:11), I also know that way back then, the thought of leaving your little girl must have been agonizing.  

So, I am writing to you today.  Not because I think you are actually reading this letter.  Nor because I believe you are “up there somewhere looking down on us.”  I ascribe to neither of those views as I do not see them taught in the Bible.  I am thankful your spirit is with Jesus, and there is nothing but joy for you until the day when the Lord unites your spirit with your glorified resurrected body (1 Thess 4:13-18).

So, I am writing to you today for my own benefit.  Selfish?  Probably. But I am also writing to you in hopes that God might use my words, feeble as they be, to bless and encourage the women that God has so graciously placed into my care as Pastor.  

Linda, I am sorry I did not get to know you.  I do remember visiting you several times while you were on your death bed.  The cancer did not steal your obvious joy.  I remember you smiling at me more than once.  It was almost like you knew something.  

Indeed!  That little girl you left behind all those years ago . . . well, I married her.  And even though you had only ten years with her on this earth, I want you to know you did a great job as her mother!  Your infectious smile of joy now resides on Michele’s face.  In fact, after 25 years of marriage, I can say that your baby girl’s indomitable joy has been the greatest blessing of my life, save for the wonder of knowing my Savior by grace through faith.  Thank you for passing that joy along to her.  Its fragrance has spread to everyone who has ever taken time to get to know her.    

That girl you left behind grew into a woman. A woman who refused to allow her pain to define her. A woman who was given grace to repent of her sin and trust Christ alone for forgiveness.  A woman who has shown more grace and forgiveness to more people than anyone I have ever personally known.  Not the least of which is me.  A woman full of life, the very life of God!  A woman who laughs a lot. A woman who plays a lot. A woman who hugs a lot. A woman who loves a lot. A woman who cries a bit too much, because her heart is so soft and compassionate. A woman who devours God’s Word. A woman who loves Christ and His people. A woman who serves, and serves, and serves some more. A woman of grace.  A woman of faith. A woman saved by Christ, put in Christ, living for Christ, longing to be with Christ.  A woman who reflects Christ to so many.  A woman filled with the Holy Spirit.  I have heard these same things said of you by those who knew you best.  Thank you again, for showing your little girl Christ in the ten years God gave you with her.  As the old hymn says, “Little is much, when God is in it.”  

Your baby girl is “an excellent wife whose price is far above rubies” (Prov. 31:10).  

Your baby girl also grew up to be a Mom.  And this is where I struggle fighting back tears.  The humanity in me is so sad that you never got to see your baby girl’s baby girls.  They, too, are becoming women of indomitable joy.  The joy of Jesus!  And one of them is now a wife, looking to your little girl to know what it means to love and respect a husband in Christ Jesus.  The other has your face!  As you know, everyone called Michele “little Linda” because she looks so much like you.  Well, your adorable cheeks are now in their third generation!  You would love both of them and be so proud of them.  

I dry my tears now, sweet Linda, because Jesus is strong to save.  I dry my tears because Jesus will make all things new.  I dry my tears because Jesus has rendered death impotent.  I dry my tears now because by the mercies and everlasting electing love of God your baby girl and granddaughters will one day join you at the pierced feet of the Lord Christ.  And wonder of wonders I will too.  Whatever pains and heartaches and separations and longings we had down here will fade into the fabulous forever. 

And maybe, just maybe, by the sovereign goodness of our God, a 4th generation, yea a 5th generation, dare I say a 6th generation, of “little Linda’s” will sing with us there, “Worthy is the Lamb!”     

Come to think of it, February 6th is not just a sad day.  It’s also a glad day. 

“Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Psalm 30:5).

February 6th is one of those days when we can hardly wait for the morning. 

Back in mid-March when the various lock downs began, I commented to one of our home schooling families in our church, "We are all home schoolers now!"

When I said it, I confess it gave me some degree of glee.  After all, I have for years strongly advocated for home education as the most biblically faithful and ideal model for families, with Christian private education and public education as a distant 2nd and 3rd places.  And with the proliferation of very fine home school curricula being published, my opinion on the matter has in no way changed.

In a home school or Christian private school, teachers have far more freedom to personally pour the gospel of Jesus Christ into students.  It's not just the curriculum that educates and provides the worldview, in other words.  It's the parent or teacher himself or herself, as well.  Christian public school teachers are in a noble profession, but their gospel hands are tied.  This means the curriculum bears the most weight in that system.  And the state education curricula in all 50 States are founded upon atheism, humanism, Darwinism, and socialism, and a growing history revisionism.  I know of few who even dispute this claim now.  Just grab a textbook and start reading if you do not think it so.  Add to this the radical sex education curriculum promoted and backed by Planned Parenthood and the powerful LGBTQ lobby, and no Christian should expect a pastor to endorse the public education system.  That doesn't mean we do not love and respect public school teachers in our churches.  But the system itself is simply too far gone to endorse.

That said, some of my initial glee is subsiding.  While nearly every parent is gaining new respect for home educators, not all the news is good.  We now hear reports of increased child abuse, increased access to porn sites, increased child predatory contacts, and decreased student participation in any classroom at all.  Some students who do well with in-person classroom instruction are now struggling with the online platform.  This has exposed our homes and our parenting as a culture.  And I am afraid it is exposing some poor parenting in our churches, too.

I pose these questions to Christian parents of all stripes, as you now find your children at home with you all day every day, and I do so to encourage you to seize this moment for God's glory in the gospel of Christ!

• Regardless of what model of schooling your children are engaged in now, are you actively helping and encouraging them?  Reading with them?  Answering questions?  Asking questions?  Expressing joy in their accomplishments?  Helping them develop personal discipline, in every facet of their lives?
• Are you getting to know their teachers?  Expressing gratitude to the teachers?
• Are you pushing your child to do well?  "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might" (Eccl 9:10).
• Are you correcting every instance of sin or sinful attitudes in your children?  This is one of the greatest advantages to home education!  You get a front row seat to your child's sinful depravity, and you get the unspeakable privilege of bringing God's Law and Gospel to bear upon it.  Repeatedly. Multiple times a day!  Not correcting sin is a primary way we provoke and discourage our children (Col 3:21).
• Are you micro-managing your child's screen time?  Yes, I mean it.  Every evil known to mankind lurks just behind a single tap of that screen.  Protect your children!  Equip them to use technology in holy ways.
• Are you helping your child discern the worldview in the textbooks he or she is reading?  Equipping our children to "take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ" is critical (2 Cor 10:5).
• Are you helping your children engage lies with the truth of God's Word?  Are you helping them learn to lovingly interact with lost peers in a way that reflects Jesus' holiness and power to save and give hope?  1 Peter 3:15  
• Are you reading and discussing the Bible more with your children? Memorizing scripture?  Why would you miss this amazing opportunity to get more Deuteronomy 6 into your lives?
• Are you seizing down times to study other interesting subjects that might not otherwise be available to your child?  Music?  Geography?  An unreached people group? A missionary biography?  Church history?
• Are you having lots of fun with your family?  Playing games?  Enjoying God's outdoors?  Exercising?  Taking up new hobbies? Planting gardens? Gazing at stars? Singing?  Dancing?  Goofing off?
• Are you finding ways for your family to serve others? Are you living with faith, not fear?  Psalm 139
• Are you praying for and with and over your children more often?
• Are you learning alongside your children how to truly delight in Sabbath?  Resting in God's finished work on our behalf through Christ our Lord, and ensuring all our work flows out of that rest.  Sabbath. Trust. Deep, abiding trust in God. Total dependence upon Him for everything. Sabbath.  It's beautiful. And this slower pace seems pretty much "designed" and ordained to force us to relearn and rethink it.

Well, I am sure there are even more and even better questions to ask.  But these at least get us started.  I urge parents and grandparents to live with your families in these days in such a way that on your last day you will not look back with regret.  What a God-ordained opportunity for every family who loves the Lord Jesus Christ and who is empowered by His Spirit and His Word!  May we reflect our Heavenly Father in this unique time.

For everything there is a season . . . (Eccl 3:1).   

Christians often ask the wrong questions.

Instead of asking, "Why doesn't God save everyone?" we should ask, "Why does God save anyone?"

Another example, sometimes a Christian parent will ask me my opinion on home schooling or private school or public school.  I have made my thoughts on those subjects crystal clear for many years, from the pulpit, in the counseling rooms, and on this blog!  But I suggest to such a parent that he or she is really asking the wrong question.

Rather than try and pro/con the whole educational options debate, which treats the hearts and souls of our children somewhat like they matter no more to us than if we were buying a new car, we should learn to ask good questions.  Biblical questions.

The two big questions every Christian parent should ask in this matter are:

1. If all I had was my Bible, how would I raise / educate / train my child? 
2. Who do I want to raise my child? 

These two questions strike at the real jugular of the issue.  In the biblical worldview, to educate a child is to raise a child is to teach a child is to train a child is to discipline a child.  These heart-and-mind-shaping activities simply cannot be compartmentalized in God's way of thinking.  What we now have been programmed to call "education" is what the Lord Almighty calls "Disciple Making."

"A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher" (Luke 6:40).

"Father [parents] do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Eph 6:4).

"You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up" (Deut 6:7).

"My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments . . . my son be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding" (Prov 3:1; 5:1).

One cannot help but grasp the comprehensive nature of child-rearing when one seeks to get God's view of it.  While I have a soft heart for those in the church who simply cannot home school, such as single moms, and I do not in any way mean to disparage Christian teachers seeking to invest in kids in public schools, as a Pastor committed to the absolute sufficiency of Scripture I must warn every parent to ask these probing questions.  If you are only spending a few hours a day, 5 days a week, with your child, then who is really raising your child?  And if all you had were your Bible, how would you parent?

"All Scripture is breathed out by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness that the man of God may be thoroughly [sufficiently] equipped for every good work" (2 Tim 3:16-17).

It is hard to imagine a better "good work" than raising, teaching, training, discipling our children.

But for those of you who simply cannot resist the pro/con method, consider the results of the Gen2 survey sponsored by Generations Ministry.  The survey was conducted 2013-2015 of 10,000 Millenials who grew up in Christian homes during the 1990s and early 2000s.  Here are a few results:

• A private Christian school student is 270% more likely to believe in evolution, and the public school student is 330% more likely to believe in evolution, than a home school student.
• A public school student is 330% more likely to be sexually abused (self-reported) than a home school student.
• The active role of the father in a child's sexual purity is pivotal.
• Children who abandoned the faith later in life cited their parents' hypocrisy most often as the prime factor.  In other words, if we parents say the Bible is enough, then we had better seek grace to live that out in every decision, and to spend many hours with our children so they can see what it means to "walk in a manner worthy of your calling" (Eph 4:1).  Our children are watching!

Of course, there are no perfect homes.  We are all broken in some ways.  And there are exceptions to every generality.  But I am persuaded the most important questions to ask in these matters are the two I gave above.  If you need to sink your teeth more deeply into this topic, dear Dad and Mom, go get a copy of Disciple Like Jesus for Parents by Alan Melton and Paul Dean.  Really.  Read it.  And may God's Spirit grant us all courage to be disciples who make disciples . . . beginning at home.

My wife and I have two amazing daughters.  Raising them has been a deeper joy and a more difficult challenge than we ever anticipated.  It has kept us humble and prayerful, seeking God's grace in Christ.

Our oldest daughter (19) has expressed little to no interest in college or even a "career."  We have raised both of our daughters to follow God's dream for their lives.  If that includes education or training beyond high school, praise God!  If it does not, praise God!  Their identity is forever anchored in the electing, calling, saving, sanctifying and glorifying grace of God through Jesus Christ our Lord as applied to their hearts by the Holy Spirit.  Our oldest daughter wants to be a Christ-centered wife and mother.  One would think such a desire would receive the respect it deserves in the church.  But sadly so many believers in America have been feminized that she has had to endure a fair bit of gentle criticism.  But, by God's grace, she has stood firm.  She works a steady job, and is patiently waiting for a young man down in North Carolina to keep doing what is necessary to become her husband.  We are so proud of her in a good parental sort of way.

As we approach Mother's Day, I thought this Q&A by R.C. Sproul was fitting.  May it bless all of you sisters in Christ who find great joy and dignity in being a wife and mother.  Keep living for an audience of One. 

And men, please pay close attention to how monumental your role is in all of this, according to the counsel of the late, great pastor-scholar, Dr. Sproul.

How does a woman find dignity as a housewife and mother in today’s career-minded society?

The quest for dignity is not limited to women nor to women in careers or in the home, but it’s a universal quest. I’ve been involved in many, many seminars that focus on the quest of human dignity, and I have found that every person I have ever talked to wants to be treated with dignity and wants to be sure they have dignity. At the same time, I have discovered that giving a clear definition to the concept of dignity is a very difficult task, yet everybody knows when they have lost dignity.

The woman whose vocation is being a homemaker and a mother, and that is her career rather than working in the business community, is feeling sort of a reverse pressure that other women felt a few years ago when they went into the business world and were discriminated against for somehow abandoning their place in the home. Women today are feeling an imposed guilt for not having a career; somehow being a homemaker is considered a less–than–dignified vocation.

Obviously God clearly affirms the dignity of that role for a woman. The children will rise up and call her blessed. But when God’s Word affirms the dignity or value of something, that is not always enough for us to keep our own security about it. It should be enough—if God says it, that should settle it. But it doesn’t settle it with us. We’re feeble, fragile in our feelings, and we can be made insecure by the culture that looks down upon this particular role.

I would say that the single most important individual in maintaining the dignity of a woman in the home is the husband in the home. If the husband demeans or ignores or puts down or treats as insignificant the labor of his wife, he becomes the principal destroyer of this woman’s dignity. And so the first thing that has to be done to restore the dignity of the woman in the home is having the husband and children create an environment of appreciation and verbalize that appreciation.

Somebody once made the statement that the negative input of one criticism requires nine compliments to be overcome in our personalities. That’s certainly true. One criticism of a wife in the home can devastate her self-esteem in that role, particularly when the rest of the culture is trying to tell her that homemaking and mothering are no longer significant enterprises.

Most students start the new school year within the next week or so.  Even we home-schoolers are gearing up and warning our kids they are going to have to start getting up a bit earlier!  A few private schools around here are already `rank`ing.  Boy, summers seem to get shorter each year.

Anyone who knows me knows I have not been a fan of the public school system for a long, long time.  It gets me in some hot water as a Pastor when I address the obvious flaws in the state run system, but I care about children and families too much not to at least issue a caution.  It appears painfully obvious to me that parenting God's way is made more difficult when children are not even with parents for most of the day, five days a week.  I am not saying it's impossible to be a godly parent if your children are in private or public schools.  I am merely saying you are making it more challenging on yourself.  And yes, I also know home-schooling families who do not seem to be taking their task nearly as seriously as they should and they should repent and get help from others who can equip them for the high-calling of gospel-centered home life and a thorough educational curriculum.  So, nobody perfect here except Jesus! But it seems that given the bent of the state run schools, those parents in particular are taking quite a parenting risk.

Paul told the Church at Ephesus, "Fathers [parents] do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."  Nearly every Christian parent I know has found this task far more time-consuming and energy-demanding than we anticipated at our very first "gender reveal" parties.  As the Lord made plain to His Old Covenant people, parenting is an all-consuming, non-stop calling (Deuteronomy 6).  So, it does pain me a bit to see Christian parents send off their children to be taught, trained, dare I say raised, by others each day.  Their hearts, which are "deceitful above all else" (Jer 17:9) are being entrusted to others and to a system of education that would not remotely recognize "taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ" as the goal. While public teachers are often amazing at their craft, they are not even allowed to do any public gospel heart work on students.  Our Christian teachers' hands are tied!  It pains me.  I cannot help it and I make no apologies for it.

That said, I realize many Christians really need the public education system.  I hope and expect these parents also find their church families coming alongside them to bolster them in their parental calling.  I thank God for every parent in the church I pastor.  We have public school families, private school families, a throng of home-schooling families, and many teachers of all stripes!  I love pastoring them all and am proud of the efforts I see all our families making to raise children who hate sin and adore Jesus Christ.  And I love when I see our families helping one another to be the best they can be, by the gracious power of God.  Our church family is precious!  The love of Christ in us unifies us regardless of educational choices.  And I pray each of us buckles down this year to seek to be even more gospel-driven and Bible-saturated in our public and private lives.

I dream of our public school teachers starting Bible studies at their schools in "off hours."  I dream of our parents of private Christian school students finding ways to invest in those students' hearts.  I dream of our home-school parents getting a heart for public school students and families and finding creative ways to serve them, such as after hours tutoring or donating school supplies to less privileged families.  The gospel trumps all our preferences!  May the Name of Jesus Christ go forth from us, Corydon Baptist Church.  In all our schools.  In all our communities.  In all our workplaces.  In all our recreational spots.  May God push back darkness through us!

Every school is a mission field.  May God give us His eyes to see and His heart to love.

For those interested in hearing a solid challenge from Focus on the Family, here are two radio broadcasts worth your time:  http://www.drjamesdobson.org/popupplayer?broadcastId=d990a98f-39d1-4848-b678-6f5b1f838251

 

 

Now this is the commandment, the statutes and judgments which the Lord your God has commanded to teach you, that you may observe them . . . that you may fear the Lord your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, you and your son and your grandson, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged (Deuteronomy 6:1-2).

God undoubtedly desires His people to keep a trans-generational perspective.  The Lord delights in His people teaching His Word to their children, so that they may teach their children, and so on.  And God loves to see redeemed Grandparents bouncing grandbabies on their knees while singing, "On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand."  Our Lord is faithful across the generations.  And our aim should be to see His grace produce trans-generational faithfulness in our own families.  

While I am not yet a grandparent, and do not anticipate being one for several more years, I do pastor many grandparents.  I enjoy watching them with their grandchildren.  It is a visual reminder of God's goodness.  But grandparenting in our culture has become far more complicated than in previous generations.  We have some grandparents in our congregation who have had to take it upon themselves to raise their grandchildren full-time.  They're essentially parenting all over again.  I commend them for stepping up and standing in the gap with the souls of their grandchildren on the line.  And we have grandparents who "watch" their grandchildren several days a week.  In many ways, they too are raising those children.  It's easy for pastors to get so focused on the parents and young couples in a church that we forget the grandparents.  So, for what my thoughts are worth, I offer a few practical pointers to all you precious parents that are "grand."

• If you are actually functioning as a full-time parent, you need to ask for God's grace to transition from the role of grandparent to parent.  Not easy.  But essential.  There are significant differences in the parent-child relationship and the grandparent-grandchild relationship.  To effectively parent, you need to be a parent.  
• If you are parenting as a grandparent due to some kind of brokenness in the biological parent (your child), then study up on biblical forgiveness and seek grace for kindness and patience.  Speaking ill of your grandchild's parent in front of the child is disastrous.  Avoid it!  And gently urge the parent (your child) to get whatever help he or she needs.  The goal should be, if at all possible, to see the parent and child fully restored.  
• Do not enable grown children to live in sin or indulge a sinful lifestyle.  Paying for biblical counseling for the grown child - yes!  Giving cash to the grown child battling addictions - no!  Helping buy school supplies for the grandchild - yes!  Allowing the grown child to give herself consistently to sin under your roof - no!
• If the situation with the parents is desperate and not reconcilable in the long-term, pursue legal custody of the grandchild(ren).  This makes so many things simpler on you if you find yourself functioning as a parent.
• If you provide regular childcare to your grandchildren, do not do it for free.  I know this sounds harsh to some, but I do not believe you are doing your children any real favors by serving as a free, permanent childcare solution.  Charge them half what they would have to pay an actual daycare.  This at least forces responsibility back where it belongs - on the parents.  You can always put the earnings into your grandchild's college fund!  
• Do not agree to provide regular childcare for your grandchildren without asking the parents some hard questions.  Like, "Why do you need this childcare?"  And, "Have you downgraded your lifestyles in order to do everything possible to allow mom to stay home with the children?"  And, "Let me see your budget."  Far too often in our culture parents are simply taking advantage of grandparents in order to maintain a certain standard of living.  And the problem exists as much inside the church as outside!
• Do take every opportunity to laugh and frolic with your grandchildren!  You never know how many more opportunities to do so the Lord will give you.  
• Do teach your grandchildren the Gospel.  Read the Bible to them.  Read gospel-centered books to them.  Christian bookstores are stocked with shelf after shelf of great biblical children's books now!  
• Pray over your grandchild.  Pray blessings on their heads.  Pray with your grandchild.  Teach them to pray and relish the precious words they utter to God.  When they pray something amazing or just cute, write it in a journal.  You'll enjoy the memories and smile each time you read the journal entry.  In today's world, you might even film some of your prayer times or fun times with them on your phone.   
• Use technology to stay in touch with grandchildren.  For those separated by distance, there really is no excuse today for not still being connected to your grandchildren's lives.  
• Find out what your grandchildren enjoy and encourage and support them.  I've seen 8-year old boys verifiably giddy just because grandpa showed up to their baseball game.  As long as God gives you the health, get out there and enjoy life with those grandbabies!

Well, that's enough to keep us busy for a while.  When it comes to matters of parents and grandparents in the church, my strong desire is to see parents working hard by God's grace to allow grandparents to just be grandparents.  That will bless families across generational lines in ways we cannot imagine.  In some ways, many of the above tips pain me to write.  I wish they were not so needed.  May God restore peace and gospel wholeness to our families.  May the Lord give us a revival of Psalm 78:1-8 families.  For the sake of Christ, and the joy of all you parents who are GRAND!           

               

Narcissist.  Self-Centered.  Self-Adulating.  Self-Promoting.  Selfish.

Synonyms.  Surely none of these descriptions or character traits are what parents desire to see their children become. Yet, a new study reported in the LA Times says this is precisely what many parents are producing.  The article begins with these words,

"Parents who believe their kids are better, more special, and deserve more than other kids can pass that point of view on to their children, creating young narcissists who feel superior to others, and entitled to privileges." You can read the whole article here.

It's strikes me as amusing that the researchers seem to act as if they have hit upon an epiphany of sorts.  That parenting matters!  That parents deeply and significantly influence their children's character by their methods and modeling.  The study's findings were summarized some two-thousand years ago:

"A student is not above his teacher; but everyone after he has been fully trained will be like his teacher" (Luke 6:40).

Or perhaps the ancient sage King Solomon summarized it a thousand years before Jesus took on flesh and walked the earth:

"Train up a child in the way he should go and even when he is old he will not depart from it" (Prov 22:6).

It should not surprise us that non-Christian parents are raising self-centered children.  While I am not saying every single non-Christian parent is totally selfish, apart from the transforming grace of God in Christ, this is the natural tendency of every person.  So, selfish parents raise selfish kids.  And selfish parents give conception and birth to selfish kids.  The apple never falls far from the tree (coincidentally, the scientific study also concluded selfishness is genetic.  No surprises here for Bible believers, Psalm 51:5).

But it should shock us to see Christian parents also bringing up little narcissists.  And far too many Christian parents are doing so, if perhaps unwittingly.  Let me touch on a few ways we Christians may be raising narcissists, even if we do not mean to do so:

• Not meaning "no" when you say "no."  Children in the study admitted their manipulative tendencies!  They learn quickly that all of life is a negotiation to get my way if parents do not mean "no" by saying "no."
• Centering the entire daily and weekly schedule around a child.  Yes, when they are infants, it is all but necessary to give massive amounts of time and attention to the child's needs.  But this phase can and should end earlier than we like to admit.  A pre-K or kindergarten child who gets chauffeured around like a celebrity from one extra-curricular activity to another soon begins to think (or learn) that life really is centered on her.  Why are we so scared to hold our children out of sports or 4H or bands or any other of the hundreds of "fun" and stressful activities available?  A sport now and then is fine.  Revolving life or our home lives around it would seem to be quite unbiblical.
• Allowing children to dictate their own schedules and then pandering to it. This goes hand-in-hand with the aforementioned comment.  But it bears repeating.  If we make it our aim to ensure our children or teens get to do what they want or choose to do most of the time, then we should not be surprised when those young kids grow into adult narcissists.  A fun activity now and then is fine and even healthy.  But if we find our schedules being dominated by self-serving, non-eternal things, it's time for a change.
• Living our daily and weekly lives as a narcissist.  Some may interpret my comments above to mean that parents get to be selfish and decide everything about the schedule and revolve it around their wishes.  Oh contraire!  How often do our children see us doing things that "put us out?"  That inconvenience us?  That are hard and not necessarily "fun?"  We often say, "If Mommy ain't happy ain't nobody happy."  But if we truly live like that, our children are seeing right through it.  We're modeling selfishness.  Life revolves around Mom's happiness.  Or, if Dad comes home and expects to do nothing but watch TV and eat pretzels and have his beer refreshed by all his little servants, then our children are seeing a model of narcissism.
• By not making time to serve others.  This pains me.  I see so many Christian parents getting serious about doing home life according to the Shema.  And I am so thankful for a revival of Deuteronomy 6 homes and parenting!  But, what we are far too often neglecting is the second greatest commandment: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Matt 22:39).  We are so busy doing "home" that we forget there is a lonely widow needing a visit, a tired single mom needing a long uninterrupted bath, a young man needing mentored, a lost co-worker needing the gospel, a new church member needing a friend, a cancer patient needing a hug, a hungry child needing a meal, a missionary needing help, a grieving sister in Christ needing a shoulder to cry on.  Oh Christian church family, please hear me!  If you are too busy to find someone or someway to serve every week, then you are too busy.  This is the number one way to raise narcissists - neglect and reject servanthood!  Move your schedule around and go serve people as a whole family in Jesus' name and for His glory.
• If Jesus was right (and He was), then life really revolves around loving God and loving others.  How are we making sure to build that worldview into our kids?  And how are we Modeling it?  How will our children truly learn that life in Christ's kingdom is a life of selfless cross-carrying service?
• That brings me to a final way to raise a narcissist - get your Kingdom Theology all mixed up.  Some preachers are teaching Christian parents to make their homes or families a kingdom.  Well, Adam was to rule the creation on behalf of God.  But remember, he screwed it up!  And now, Adam wants to rule his dominion by dominating his domain!  He wants to rule his family as a King with a capital "K."  And Eve wants to dethrone Adam and wear the King's Crown (or pants, as it were).  This is Genesis 3 stuff.  How often we forget that trying to be kings is what got us into this mess in the first place!  The story-line of the Bible is that only One King and Kingdom endure forever.  All other so-called kings are to put a  small letter "k" before their titles.  Or, better yet, jettison all those noble titles and take up the mantle of Christ: "Do not be called Rabbi . . . do not be called leaders; for One is your leader, Christ.  But the greatest among you shall be your servant" (Matt 23:8-11).  Our homes and little kingdoms must bow always and forever to King Jesus, who said, "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness" (Matt 6:33).  It seems to me way too many well-meaning Christian parents have no real time for the Kingdom every week because they are too busy building their own kingdoms.  This is a sure fire way to raise Christian Narcissists.

God forgive us for our narcissism.  Remind us that it took the ultimate selfless sacrifice of Your Son Jesus to rescue us from our self-centeredness.  Make us servants.  Help us raise a new generation of servants who "prefer one another in honor" (Rom 12:10) and "esteem others more highly than themselves" (Phil 2:3).  Make us like Jesus, the One and Only King.  Help us revolve our lives and homes around King Jesus.  Amen.          

"I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land, so that I would not destroy it; but I found no one" (Ezekiel 22:30).

This verse was spoken into my ear on the occasion of my ordination into Gospel ministry by none other than my hero, Dad.  He cited this verse, then urged me to never let it be said in my lifetime that God could not find a man to stand in the gap before Him.  Turns out the same words were spoken to him on the day of his ordination by his Dad.  So, that Divine message has passed through three generations of McWhorter men.  [Since I have no sons, perhaps God will allow me to speak the words to a son-in-law one day?]

Father's Day.  For many in America it is one of the saddest days.  I'm forced to wonder if the day will even hold much significance at all in 25 years.  If pollsters have it right, close to 45% of children are now born to single women.  They will never know their dads at all, most likely.  This is, in my mind, the clearest sign of the utter ruin and downfall of America.  The state of fatherhood (more like fatherlessness) makes me deeply sad.  This trend, if not reversed, will destroy us.   

All week on the Today show, they have featured "Stay-at-Home Dads" who are taking on the role of Mom while Mom goes out to slay the dragons and earn the bread.  And this we celebrate?  Now, don't get me wrong, any man who will not change diapers, vacuum floors and feed toddlers is no man at all.  But seriously, we think a total reversal of parental roles is worth celebrating?  We're in deep confusion and trouble, friends.

Yet, I have the distinct honor to pastor men who are standing in the gap.  I am so proud of them, or more correctly, proud of the Savior whom they love and serve.

I have seen men sacrifice higher paying jobs to be able to spend more time with their wives and children.  The world would scoff at such decisions, but real men don't pander to the world.

I have seen men working insane hours to build their family a home with their own two hands.  Exhausted, these men press on driven by a desire to live out God's primary calling for them to be providers by the sweat of their brows.

I have seen men lose jobs but still find ways to keep food on the table as they search diligently for new employment, all the while continuing to lead their homes spiritually.

I have heard men speaking of their family devotions and worship times.  I have heard them talk about what Book of the Bible they are reading or studying through with their families.

I have seen men grow in real, accountable relationships with other Christian men.

I have seen and experienced personally a group of men growing more and more committed to praying for one another.

I have seen men make very difficult decisions which cost them friends (and sometimes they endure their church being bad-mouthed too, simply because of their decision) because they were convinced the decision was what was best for the safety and spiritual health of their families.

I have seen men give away their daughters in protective purity that honors Christ the Pure One.

I have seen men fight to protect women and children whom they have adopted (either literally or spiritually) as their own, becoming a father to the fatherless.

I have seen men rally to run off wolves that are posing a clear danger to the flock of God here at CBC.

I have seen men fighting harmful addictions or wrestling against sin in the power of God's Spirit and Word.

`rank`ly, I too often feel frustrated that more men are not revived in the church I serve.  But today I want joy and gratitude to replace frustration as I reflect on the real men I get to serve week-in-week-out.  They are growing as a band of brothers who are men of the Word.  I'm happy to bleed, even if just a little, beside them.

Oh God, how I thank you for letting me see real men in action.  What grace You have lavished on me to shepherd such warriors.  Give me strength beyond measure to lead these men and their families well.  Give me an anointing to teach them the Word with the power of Your Holy Spirit.  May Your tribe of men increase here under the Headship of the Good Shepherd, the Lord Jesus.  My heart is full God.  My cup runneth over.  I thank You.  Amen.